Thursday, December 9, 2010

Need Some Christmas Cheer?

Right now, Im lying in bed,
playing on the computer while
Ginger naps and Baby Boy Treese
stretches and kicks, punches and Thai Bo's in my stomach.
Last night he pushed his little foot so far out,
you could grab it.
Ive already announced via facebook and twitter
that Im dilated to a 2.
I dilated early with Ginger,
so half of me is convinced I still have three more weeks
and the other half of me is feeling like this baby is going to
walk out of me in the middle of the night.

Right now were dog sitting for our friend.
Meet Zoe...
photo (4)

Isnt she a doll?
See her eye... does anyone know- is this a common
Pomeranian thing and is there something otc I can buy for it?

Im really feeling sorry for the boys in this family.
Moses is like a puppy again.
He is so in love and they play all day long.
And Casey is so in love with her I felt a sting of jealousy yesterday
while he was loving on her.
Sort of pathetic. What can I say?
I think they're both going to go through serious withdrawls
when she leaves in a couple weeks.

Anyway she is a super good girl and now I am SO tempted to get
another dog even with another baby on the way.
It's just so good for Moses.

Here's Ginger in her new favorite place to play...
photo (5)

See my hand taking the pic and how determined
I am NOT to be in the picture?

And our tree is up and we have been watching all
the Christmas classics on tv.
photo (6)

We came across this picture
of my grandma...


I'll sign off with this...
I dont know who these people are
but I got the Christmas fuzzies when I watched this;

Merry Christmas.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

letter to Ginger 21 months

Dear Ginger,

It's been forever since your last letter. Which is a shame because now I'm overwhelmed with all the things I want to tell you about.

Your hair has grown! Yippee! That means no more mohawk; awesome. But the cowlicks are still there; stupid. So If I dont put your hair in a ponytail or pigtails... it is so out of control. I'm sure you'll see pictures when youre older and wonder how I could neglect your appearance in such a way. I have no excuse.

Yet, no matter how crazy your hair is- I still find you to be the most beautiful in all the world. I am constantly staring at you. I hope I grow out of it because it might be creepy and embarrassing if in 15 or so years your boyfriend is all, "dude... why does your mom stare at you like she's going to eat you?" The other day our neighbor was over for dinner, his english isn't perfect but he said in regards to you, "her smile... it is so, how do you say? It is so... sincere." Yes that's exactly how you say it. You have such a beautiful smile. It goes ear to ear, your eyes form sparkling halfmoons and it is impossible not to be touched by it. But you my dear... you are a cunning one sometimes. When you do something naughty like hit or throw things in a fit of anger, Ill use my best admonishing mommy voice and say "GingeRrrr". And do you know what you do? You say in your sweetest I have no idea why you are angry voice, "HI!" flash that fabulous smile, and bestow upon me a warm hug. Your dad caught on to the danger of that move very quickly. "We can't let her do that," he said, but truth be told he's tied around your little finger and I've seen you use that same strategy successfully many a time.

Well I suppose it would help if I put this letter in perspective... the year is 2010, and you are 21 months today. You have a baby brother on the way. He'll be here in less than a month . You like to lift up my shirt and kiss the baby (my big round tummy). Sometimes you'll try to offer him snacks through my belly button. But still you are too young to understand the radical change that is quickly approaching. I am so excited for the arrival of your brother. I know without a doubt he belongs in this family and our blessings will be multiplied with his presence. But if I had to be completely honest I'll tell you that part of me is mourning the upcoming loss of the partnership of you and me. Not to dis-include your dad, of course. But being a stay at home mom means the two of us do everything together. My attention belongs to you, my day revolves around you. And I love it. This is the only time in my life I'll be the mother of one, and the only time in yours that you will be an only child. It is so special. That being said, I accept that this was if but for a season of our lives. It has been lovely and you have taught me and will continue to teach me the fundamentals of being a mother. As firstborn, you are bestowed/cursed with that privilege/job. You have introduced to me this new self. I cannot comprehend life before being a Mom. I have never been more comfortable with my role in this world before you. In a month things will change forever. But I am 100 percent confident it is a positive change. It is an exciting and wonderful change.

Anyway I digress... I want to tell you a few things about who you are and what you do up to this point of life. Ill start off with my most memorable story starring you. I dont think Ill ever forget it. You have excelled when it comes to sleeping my little one. We put you in your crib and you never fight it. Even if you arent tired you entertain yourself quietly. So on the rare occasion that you do wake up crying I dont question it. I suppose you could say- you never cry wolf. Months ago, You were just over a year old, you woke up in the middle of the night very upset. I brought you in bed with me. The problem is that because you are not used to seeping in our bed it is "playtime" for you give or take a few amphetimines). Its like someone dissolved an adderall or three in your vitamin D milk and you are totally high the second I lay you down. You sing, jump up and down, laugh... basically anything but sleep. So the only strategy I have is to not engage you. I lie down as still as I possibly can, with my eyes closed, pretending to be fast asleep. I'll even throw in a snore or two. That particular night after about a half hour of you going bananas, the bed became still and I could feel you hovering over me. I kept still with my eyes shut. You leaned in so close I could feel your breath on my face. And then you kissed my lips so sweetly and delicately and put your little hand on my cheek, stroking it softly. And I cried. I have never felt such pure love in my life. Except in the temple, with your father, but that is sacred and unique in its own way... as was this moment shared with you. I thought of Christ and came to appreciate and understand more completely the expression "pure love of Christ" and also what it means when the scriptures tell us to be child-like. Really you had no other intentions or motivations, no hidden agenda or manipulative thoughts; All you wanted at that moment was to give your mother the pure love you felt. As we get older it's hard to know how to show/feel/express love in a pure manner. We are sort of trained in the school of life to wonder; What can this person give me? or What does this person want from me?. It takes time and sometimes a lot of hoop jumping to build that trust. But apparently when it comes to babes and their mama's- all that's out the window. Love is felt not intellectualized. I know this is starting to sound dramatic but truly those moments are magic, they can trump the sadness and wear and tear of any rough challenging day. Still, I should change stories because I can see my self walking the line between sharing with you and then waxing poetic as if I'm the only one to have discovered this and now I must for forth and preach the good word! But first, can I get an Amen? Back on track, what a incredible, wonderful moment, I thank you for it and hope you have felt that same love from me daily.

Now you are a bit older, you'd be surprised the kind of growth that takes place in just a matter of months. So nine or so months later, you show expressions of love liberally. You always say "Love you" and your kisses are heaven. Except this one time last week. You were throwing a toddler fit over something I cant recall. It was quite a dramatic and unnecessary tantrum. So after a few moments of you crying as if your were earning a check for a long days work on the "Days of our Lives" set. Oh geez, in fifteen or so years by the time you read this you'll be all "what the heck is days of our lives, then you'll look it up on some ridiculously, unthinkable, technological device and realize... You are young/I am old. life. Where was I? Oh right, so youre throwing a massive, half real/half fake tantrum and I say, "gingy, why dont you come over here and cuddle with mommy?" So you turned to me, switched the crying from a wailing to a "life's just so unfair" sob and walked towards me.By that time you had Boogers running down your nose, lips and chin. Like, a ton of nasty boogs. And then you crawled into my lap, lightly fake sobbing now, puckered up your wet, slimy lips, leaned towards me, closed your eyes and asked sweetly and sincerey, "kiss?" And although a part of me was tempted to grab a kleenex first, I kissed those boogey lips and you smiled and rested your head on my chest, totally over your fit. And thats how much I love you. I love you so much I'd eat your snot if it meant making you feel better.

As of your twenty-first month you can count to ten, occasionally eleven- if the lighting is right. Your ABC's are coming along. You've got the tune and a few clusters of letters in the right place. Your vocabulary is a testament of being of your grammies lineage. To put it simply... you have a large vocabulary and are comfortable using your voice. You help us to be more aware of what we say, as you are quite the mimicker. Today you had the iphone in one hand (its this little, palm sized phone with... oh nevermind)and toast in the other hand. Moses was right there so setting down your toast was not an option. And no way are you giving up the phone. So I watched you, brows furrowed as you looked back and forth at the toast and iphone and finally you just sighed loudly and said, "Hmmmm, crap." Which is a fitting phrase for a conundrum such as that. You love Beauty and the Beast. We could watch it twice everyday and it seems like you'll never tire of it. You still have a great love for books which I hope lasts you a lifetime. You absolutely Love with a capital L- ART. And I am so with you. You are always asking me to draw things for you ( a cat, a rainbow, a tree)... a month or so ago... you wanted an octopus. I take these requests very seriously. You dream your mama draws you octopuses, well by George, You will have an octopus drawing Mama! Even if it means she'll forget to bring your snack and sippy cup to the park that afternoon because she so focused on the challenge. Honestly, Im here to teach you the important things in life... One of those things is; that to have your peers exclaim - "Your mom can draw one dope octopus," is comparatively more advantageous then "Youre mom packs a mean bag of cheddar goldfish." After that pearl of wisdom, you must feel far more socially and intellectually advanced then your friends. So let's just touch on humility, Sure Im awesome at drawing 8 legs on an ocean creature, but it doesnt mean I should think Im better than others, even though...Oh nevermind you get the point. Lesson: you can be dope and humble at the same time.

You are so very feminine; you love jewelry. A couple weeks ago I dressed you for church and while we were in sacrament, Dad was all, "Awww cute. I like how you put this necklace on G." Huh? I looked over and you were wearing my gold vintage necklace with a cameo on it. You picked it out, put on and rocked that church runway. This is the oh so superficial side of me speaking... I was almost as proud as I was when you counted to ten for the first time. Okay fine- I may have been just a smidge prouder when you happily wore it for all three hours of church. What can I say? But just as youre feminine I do see the beginning of a competitive spirit and at "My Gym" and the park you can keep up with the boys. Maybe this is all me projecting my motherly desires on you. Maybe I should make an appt with my shrink. Or perhaps, in a few years, Ill be proudly and obnoxiously exclaiming- I knew since she was one she'd kick butt on the soccer field! Oh. crap. listen to me. I sound like one of "those" moms. The "crazy, overwhelming, blinder wearing, live vicariously through your daughter" mom. It's okay... we caught this early, its not too late for me. Honey, I'll support you no matter what. (that was only a tinsy bit hard).

You are starting to embrace the little mommy in you. Which is quite relieving since your brother will be here shortly. You always pick up Elmo and say, "Ewwww, he's stinky. Nasty." Then you produce a diaper exclaiming "diaper change." So we change Elmo's diapee. a lot.
The best practice has been your cousin Willow. She's four months and quite adorable. In the beginning you were leery. But now You love to help. Saying "Oh Willow," with a sweet sigh, if shes upset and quick to offer a bottle or a pacifier.

And then there's the attitude that you are developing. I know this letter has been a lot of "Oh look how perfect and wonderful you are!" Wonderful, yes. And it is super easy to romanticize these past 21 months. Why do you suppose I choose to give you a brother before your second birthday? Anyway, ups and downs, easy and difficult days come with the territory. So currently at almost 2 years of age you are learning to assert yourself. And trying to figure out how to express emotions. You are also testing your boundaries. Doesnt all this sound like fun? And really when youre reading this as a teenager- you will likely still be learning how to handle the disappointments and frustrations in life. Sorry to say, Im 27 and I dont understand it all. So, the learning begins, as does the ensuing successes and failures. life. So a quick example of you asserting and testing today. You have learned how to turn the dishwasher on and off. Which is so awesome. not. After I finished loading the dishwasher, I turned it on and you immediately stopped what you were doing and stared at the machine... making a plan in your head (Im sure) conniving- hmmm how to take this half hour process and multiply it by ten both in terms of time and money? So I leaned down (which is hard for a 36 week preggo) and said firmly but kindly, "Ginger, look at Mama," and you did... so I continued, "Do NOT touch the dishwasher. Okay? No touch. NO touch." And mothers around the world can predict how you digested those directions. You continued to look me in the eye, walked slowly to the dishwasher and placed your hand on it. A smile on your face. This irresistible yet mischievous smile. The kind that makes me want to laugh and hug you while simultaneously wanting to put you in time out. (like I have the patience for that form of discipline at this point.) Where have I seen that smile? You stayed there with your hand on the dishwasher, I kept the staring contest going while trying to figure out my next move (truly Im clueless at this point). Because, me repeating in an even firmer tone, "Ginger, Mama said NO TOUCH. No touch" - it's all just making the game more entertaining for you. I was also wondering... What is she thinking right about now? I imagined this, "Im sorry Mom, I didn't hear you... as I was too busy running this show." Oh, I just remembered where I've seen that smile; your dad.

The past month you've acquired the amazing talent of turning the tears on and off. You'll literally be crying your eyes out one second and laughing the next. And just like when you were a newborn I have found myself able learning to decipher the cries. There's the "owie" cry (breaks my heart), the "Im not getting my way" cry (file this under quickest way to get my mom to reach for her anti-anxiety meds and/or launch into weird breathing and the downward dog pose) What? So I use yoga and medicine... Im also half republican and half democrat. Where was I? Oh right, there's the angry cry... that's usually brought on upon by Moses stealing your food or lying on your toybox while you're trying to open it. I could go on and on... but Ill finish with my favorite- the fake cry. The reason I love it is you keep your sense of humor. You'll be doing your best pathetic, woe is me cry and we will pick you up and say in a baby voice, "Oh my poor sweet Ginger, Life is so unfair, poor Gingy!" And you'll keep the cry going- the only thing interrupting you is the haha Im so funny smile on your face.

Oh Ginger, I could bore/entertain you with a billion stories. But I've probably already lost your attention after the first paragraph. I'm just so in love with you. So entertained, so proud, so surprised by you, sometimes you drive me crazy, mostly you delight me, but Always Im filled with love and a desire to be better. I love you so much plus I like you. Bonus! We have a fine family. Im proud of what the three of us have accomplished. I'm excited to see what the power of four can do. And finally, my love, thank you... a million times I thank you, everyday you make me feel the vigor of life. The energy,the power, the blessing of being here on this earth. You make me laugh, dance, dream, color, cry, master a mean impression of Gaston, Im giving and loving and joyful and it's because of you.


Tuesday, November 2, 2010

for your viewing pleasure

We spent Halloween at the Cannon's.
It was awesome.
the food was fabulous.
And Jessica wouldn't let anyone in without a costume.
Which means my halloween scrooge (aka casey)
finally wore a costume.
He was the best Wiggle I've ever seen.

ali halloween e

I went with a classic.
a witch.
and dont even think about saying something to the effect
of it not being much of a stretch for me.

casey halloweene

girls halloween e

boys halloween e

casey ali halloween e

boys halloween 2 e

And finally the whole fam.
treese fam halloween e

Many props to the talented Eric and Jessica.
These amazing photos were takin
in their garage
against the awesome mural painted by Eric himself.
Super impressive!

Happy Halloween!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

happy halloween

Halloween has graced our home.

A few decorations to get in the spirit.

hween decorate 7

These guys are my fav! When I bought them, the lady at pottery barn was
all, "Oh arent these the cutest scarecrows!"
I really wanted to correct her. Instead I just said, "totally".

Skulls and pumpkins replace candles.

hween decorate 5

PS That wall is now painted. dramatically.

hween decorate 2

ginger witch5

This picture cracks me up... She looks like a leprechaun witch.

ginger witch7

She forgot her broom.

Happy Halloween!

Monday, October 11, 2010

hello monday

is this not the best bike EVER?

tory burch bike

it's definitely a
"i have a stupid amount of money and am running out of ways to spend it" bike.

it's monday and I am about to get out of my super comfy bed
and get ready for family home evening with the treeses.
i am so ready for Peggy's home cooking and the company of my nieces and nephew.

I am seven whole months along
and can see the end in sight...
or should I say beginning!
the sun is shining a little more on my life.
I think Im out of the ugly funk I was in.
I can tell because when I stumble on things like this
I smile instead of dry heave...

How to have a lovely day

I am still confused why life is ever sad when
I get to see this piece of heaven everyday

bw1 ginger smiles

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

for all of us moms, deux.

Cooking and cleaning can wait for tomorrow,
for babies grow up, much to our sorrow.
So settle down cobwebs, and dust go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby, and babies don’t keep.

Monday, October 4, 2010

The point of wallpaper


Me: I have a wallpaper game for you.
Casey: What is it?
Me: There is only one letter of the english alphabet not used anywhere on
the wallpaper. If you guess what it is- Ill make you whatever you want for dinner.
Casey: Is it G?
Me: No
Casey: Is it X?
Me: No
Casey: This game is boring. Lets have sex.


Monday, September 27, 2010

total awesome

When I title my posts
I do it with all of those who
are hyper-annoyed with bad english in mind.
You is welcome.
Speaking of titles...
The last post was named, "diagnosed."
believe it or not, I was going for simple subtlety.
It sounds SO dramatic and feel sorry for me.
It made me feel so lame- I had to change it.

The reason for this title
would be the one item that has completely changed my life.
The infomercial sold me.
Behold, the TOTAL PILLOW.


Its so super amazing and totally on par
with the invention of the light bulb.
You can get it at fry's.
One night I woke up delirious in the middle of the night
and realized Casey stole my total pillow and was using it!
So I reached over, totally pissed off, and grabbed it hard
trying to yank it from under his head.
After a couple seconds, my eyes adjusted to the dark
and to my surprise (and amusement) I was tugging on Casey's
arm which was serving as his headrest.
It turns out he didnt steal my total pillow-
it fell on the floor.
Somehow he slept through the whole thing
and the next day I giggled about 20 times
thinking about how truly pissed I was at the thought of him
stealing my pillow.
What am I? five?

Here's the next piece of greatness to touch our lives...


A gift from Grammie.
Its a pretty rad keyboard that Ginger capital L Loves.
Speaking of Ginger obsessions;
my mom said they went shopping and G grabbed these shoes
and would not let go of them.
Saying, "Oh wow" and "pretty" about 1700 times.
I thought maybe mom was exaggerating
(I didnt get my embellishing abilities from my dad)
But truly since she came home with them,
she wants to wear them 24/7.
Most of the time, she's content with wearing at least one.

photo (2)


photo (3)

(Sometime we let her use the swiffer, instead of a rag and a bucket)

Change of subject...
The new house is coming along,
Ive learned to be patient with the design process,
Im less likely to make hasty choices
and throw away money on something I'll hate a month later.
These purdy pillows are from Z gallerie
and they light up my life...


I love the comfort and practicality of our leather couch
but it so masculine- I have to sweeten it up with extras...
hence the choice of lavender.

It took me 3 weeks to realize our dining room light
had a dimmer.


I wondered why sometimes it was dim and other times bright.
My theory- it started out dim to be easy on your eyes
then brightened gradually.
I should be ashamed to admit that stroke of genius
but Im just trying to keep it real.
It wasnt until Casey adjusted it before my very eyes that
I was like, Ohhhhhhhh, I see (pun intended).

My new favorite cd
is Brandon Flowers sole effort, "Flamingo"
I absolutely, positively love that man
and his voice and his style and his Vegasness.

I like to just insert randomness as I please.

Yoga has been my saving grace.

I spend approximately six times longer in the bathroom
than necessary.
It gives me a nice break.

I super de duper love an ice pack on my head.

Speaking of ice packs on heads.
Did you know I am an exceptional example to my child?

Exhibit A.

photo (4)

I hope I didnt make you feel self-conscience
by posting that ultra glamorous photo of me.
with my pregnant belly hanging out.

Im gonna do that mommy-daughter ice pack moment one better.
The other night G and I were hanging out in my room
when all of a sudden a wave of nausea sent me flying to the bathroom
where I seeked comfort with my head over the toilet
throwing my guts up.
Ginger quickly came after me
stared at me for a second before bending over next to me
assumed the position and started going,
"blech, blech, blech!"
complete with head bobbing and stomach clutching.
Note: It is possible to laugh while vomiting.
But when I finished luking (laughing/puking)
a wave of unavoidable, useless motherly guilt washed over me.
If she turns into a hypochondriac- we all know why.

Casey has expressed to me how much he dislikes public praise-
So I will NOT tell you how he's gone above and beyond his husbandly duty
during this difficult pregnancy.
And I wont tell you how much it means to me
and how infinite my gratitude is for him.
I wont do it. Dont even try to make me.

I better bid adieu before my sleeping medication kicks in.
Love and angel kisses.

Monday, September 20, 2010

dramatic title.

I was debating whether or not to post this,
but its a significant part of my life.
And this blog is a substitute journal.
This qualifies as journal entry worthy.

I'll try to make this as short and concise as possible.

3 and 1/2 years ago my health most definitely headed downhill.
The most obvious change was a dramatic weight loss.
40 pounds in a month.
I was newly engaged and people assumed I was on the
pre-wedding anorexia diet.
But my appetite hadnt changed and I thought perhaps it was
Especially since I had an increase in that area as well.
I was soon married and nothing changed.
(health wise)
Then I had very bad muscle pain... constantly.
Especially in my legs.
I wont even go into what a physical, medical and mental
nightmare that was.
And the consequences that ensued from mis-diagnosis.
I started having regular panic attacks
and the combination of all this started to bring about bouts of depression.
I saw a few psychiatrists.
One diagnosed me as bipolar after talking to me for 5 minutes.
At this point I was very trusting of doctors
and so hearing I was bipolar was frightening.
The medicine she prescribed was really intense and I didnt
feel right taking it.
After researching the disorder... it didnt take long for me
to realize I was definitely not bipolar.
I went to several doctors; and do you know what they all more or less
agreed on... This was all in my head and due to mental illness.
Depression and anxiety.
I started to feel like I really was going crazy.
Was I making these symptoms up?

Fast forward 3 years and these symptoms were now a way of life.
Only more emerged...
Extreme fatigue, insomnia, shortness of breath, shaky hands- to name a few.
Someone suggested an internal medicine dr.
He took a routine blood test and found out I was anemic.
So that was that... Just take iron and Ill be fine.
Wishful thinking.
I was playing soccer at the time and after a game
it took me three hours to recover.
The doctor told me I had to stop playing soccer and tennis.
My muscles had grown very weak anyway
and I couldnt play up to a satisfying standard ...
Try kicking a ball with a stick leg.
it was more frustrating then enjoyable.
So I took his advice and quit.

Then about 6 months ago things got pretty bad.
I was functioning at 25% on a good day.
But I was pregnant and everyone thought that explained it perfectly.
But I knew something wasnt right.
So I begged and pleaded with my doctors.
Finally, a month ago- I became one big pathetic mess at the OB's office.
I asked for bloodwork to check my iron.
As I was leaving she casually suggested I have my thyroid checked.

The results came back and my thyroid numbers were not looking right.
I was referred to an endocrinologist.
I saw him today, after a three week wait
and he said what I desperately needed to hear after 3 years of
questioning my sanity...
"This is most definitely not in your head."

I was diagnosed with Graves Disease.

In short... Graves disease is an autoimmune disorder that occurs
when the immune system mistakenly attacks and destroys healthy body
tissue. It leads to the overactivity of the thyroid gland as well.

No joke... It looks like someone ripped out a page of my diary
and drew up the list of graves symptoms.
It's pretty unbelievable that it went undiagnosed for so long.

The form of treatment were considering is radioactive iodine.
Pregnant woman cannot be treated with this for obvious reasons.
I cried like a blubbering idiot while the doctor shifted uncomfortably
in his chair.
I just want to feel normal. Desperately.
Then he said, you just have to make it four more months.
And I thought, Youre right, I can do that.

Im happy to finally have answers.
Im happy that relief is in the future.
Im happy that my children will have a mother
who can chase them around the yard
without needing a 3 hour recovery.
Im happy my husband will have a wife that isnt so needy.

Right now all my energy goes to Ginger and Casey,
and thats pretty much the extent of it.
So my sincere apologies if I've been a bad friend and/or family member.
Just remember its nothing that a little radioactive love cant fix.
Ill be back full force soon.
You dont even know how awesome I can be. :)

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Sunday, August 22, 2010


Ive been quite the lazy and neglectful blogger.
I like to pretend I have thousands of followers
who check this page daily
to be spiritually fed by stories of swimming sperm
and home made chandeliers.
Dont go.
I promise thats the last time I'll mention sperm.
Anyway, here is a random rambling update of sorts.
For my tens of followers out there.
Mom's friend.
I kid, my dad totally does not read this.

Im pregnant. As you know.
And here's the dirty truth.
Once I hit my 14th week, I was finished with trimester one
and feeling pretty damn good.
At which time I mentioned to Casey,
I love being pregnant.
Saying those words are like casting a shit spell on me.
Sorry for the language.
Crap storm just doesn't cut it.
But remember I said that week six and then Bam!
Pregnancy switch, morning, afternoon and evening sickness.
Back to trimester two.
So for a week or so, I was filled with energy and love
and the aura of a dozen unicorns.
And then the depression fairy came to me one night
sprinkling her Woe is Me dust all over my sleeping, pregnant body.
Ill tell you the crappy part about depression...
When someone asks you, Whats wrong?
You have no good explanation.
There's no event, person, place or thing
to blame it on.
If there was, at least you could come up with a well directed solution.
But its just...
a state of being.
A crappy, nasty, tiring state of being.
This is the part where I'd like to publicly thank
my husband and my mother.
If you're ever on the depression train, they are the ones
you want on your team.
after a couple weeks of me being a barely functioning citizen.
I told my doctor, zoloft wasnt doing the trick.
So she switched me to prozac
and two weeks later... I'm normal!

I'd like to publicly endorse prozac.
Thank you for helping me shower again.
And cook and clean and laugh and read and leave the house.

So that explains my blogging absence.
Sorry mom.
and mom's friend.

Okay this is dragging on and on.
here's some of the magic that has filled our lives
in the past month.

My youngest sister had her baby,
Willow Mae,
and I got to be in the room.
Watching babies being born is like a successful
opiate trip for me.
(I imagine.... you know- word on the street)
its seriously like a drug. I get high as a kite and smile
for days at the memory of a mother seeing her child
for the first time.

Willow Mae in her newborn glory.


Were in love with her.


This is what pure joy looks like...

Willow is great practice for Ginger.
Hard to believe she's not the baby anymore.
Rumor is she's having a tough time sharing Grammy.
My mom went to pick up crying Willow and
Ginger injected herself in between, shook her finger at Willow
and said, No, My Ammie!

Still she has no reason to worry, look how in love
the two of them are...


Ginger is almost a year and a half.
With the anticipation of my second child
Im clinging on to Ginger, asking her daily
not to grow up.
Call me Peter Pan.
I just cant imagine her not being the "baby".
Her vocabulary growing everyday.
Her personality blossoming.
And....drumroll please,
We can finally put her hair in pigtails.
Thank goodness because she was beginning
to look like the lead singer of Flock of Seagulls.
I'll do a separate post for her soon.
There's so much to update.

As for my growing fetus.
I've had three ultrasounds where he was
displaying his anatomy like a champ.
So my doctor has reiterated... He is most definitely
a boy.
His fluttering has escalated to kicks.
Which I love!
People have asked if Im scared to have a boy versus a girl.
The answer is NO- Im not nervous, I 100% wanted a boy and I am thrilled.
I am, however, terrified to go from 1 child to 2 children.
My cravings include but are not limited to...
buttery cabbage, PB and J, fruit snacks, cheeseburgers and lucky charms.
You know all the healthy stuff.

Almost every saturday, our friends gather together
to be in the only bearable place
during summer in las vegas.
the pool.


I love when babies reach for their mama's.
Ahhhh and I'm high again.

Aren't baby Presley's eyes magical?

Keeping on the summer theme,
you remember the mini ramp right.
Its parked behind the pool.
Well the husbands made some repairs
and thanks to Eric's artwork...
the ramp is summerific.



And summer's not complete without an evening dinner
with a half naked baby.

So were mostly caught up.