Sunday, August 22, 2010

summertime

Ive been quite the lazy and neglectful blogger.
I like to pretend I have thousands of followers
who check this page daily
to be spiritually fed by stories of swimming sperm
and home made chandeliers.
Wait.
Dont go.
I promise thats the last time I'll mention sperm.
Anyway, here is a random rambling update of sorts.
For my tens of followers out there.
Mom.
Mom's friend.
Dad.
I kid, my dad totally does not read this.

Im pregnant. As you know.
And here's the dirty truth.
Once I hit my 14th week, I was finished with trimester one
and feeling pretty damn good.
At which time I mentioned to Casey,
I love being pregnant.
Saying those words are like casting a shit spell on me.
Sorry for the language.
Crap storm just doesn't cut it.
But remember I said that week six and then Bam!
Pregnancy switch, morning, afternoon and evening sickness.
Back to trimester two.
So for a week or so, I was filled with energy and love
and the aura of a dozen unicorns.
And then the depression fairy came to me one night
sprinkling her Woe is Me dust all over my sleeping, pregnant body.
Ill tell you the crappy part about depression...
When someone asks you, Whats wrong?
You have no good explanation.
There's no event, person, place or thing
to blame it on.
If there was, at least you could come up with a well directed solution.
But its just...
a state of being.
A crappy, nasty, tiring state of being.
This is the part where I'd like to publicly thank
my husband and my mother.
If you're ever on the depression train, they are the ones
you want on your team.
after a couple weeks of me being a barely functioning citizen.
I told my doctor, zoloft wasnt doing the trick.
So she switched me to prozac
and two weeks later... I'm normal!

I'd like to publicly endorse prozac.
Thank you for helping me shower again.
And cook and clean and laugh and read and leave the house.

So that explains my blogging absence.
Sorry mom.
and mom's friend.

Okay this is dragging on and on.
here's some of the magic that has filled our lives
in the past month.

My youngest sister had her baby,
Willow Mae,
and I got to be in the room.
Watching babies being born is like a successful
opiate trip for me.
(I imagine.... you know- word on the street)
its seriously like a drug. I get high as a kite and smile
for days at the memory of a mother seeing her child
for the first time.

Willow Mae in her newborn glory.
27

30

Were in love with her.

48

This is what pure joy looks like...
53

Willow is great practice for Ginger.
Hard to believe she's not the baby anymore.
Rumor is she's having a tough time sharing Grammy.
My mom went to pick up crying Willow and
Ginger injected herself in between, shook her finger at Willow
and said, No, My Ammie!

Uh-oh.
Still she has no reason to worry, look how in love
the two of them are...

39

Ginger is almost a year and a half.
With the anticipation of my second child
Im clinging on to Ginger, asking her daily
not to grow up.
Call me Peter Pan.
I just cant imagine her not being the "baby".
Sigh.
Her vocabulary growing everyday.
Her personality blossoming.
And....drumroll please,
We can finally put her hair in pigtails.
Thank goodness because she was beginning
to look like the lead singer of Flock of Seagulls.
I'll do a separate post for her soon.
There's so much to update.

As for my growing fetus.
I've had three ultrasounds where he was
displaying his anatomy like a champ.
So my doctor has reiterated... He is most definitely
a boy.
His fluttering has escalated to kicks.
Which I love!
People have asked if Im scared to have a boy versus a girl.
The answer is NO- Im not nervous, I 100% wanted a boy and I am thrilled.
I am, however, terrified to go from 1 child to 2 children.
My cravings include but are not limited to...
buttery cabbage, PB and J, fruit snacks, cheeseburgers and lucky charms.
You know all the healthy stuff.


Almost every saturday, our friends gather together
to be in the only bearable place
during summer in las vegas.
the pool.

4

I love when babies reach for their mama's.
Ahhhh and I'm high again.
5

Aren't baby Presley's eyes magical?
3

Keeping on the summer theme,
you remember the mini ramp right.
Its parked behind the pool.
Well the husbands made some repairs
and thanks to Eric's artwork...
the ramp is summerific.

1

2

And summer's not complete without an evening dinner
outside
with a half naked baby.
8

So were mostly caught up.



7 comments:

Lindzie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lindzie said...

Sorry you haven't felt very good as of late. :( Depression is not fun...i remember it well cause it lasted 6 months after I had E. Yuckers. Don't want to go back to that.

Callihan Clan said...

I am so glad you are back on the happy train :) I wish depression wouldn't hit so many mommas. It just doesn't seem fair that all we go throw we must endure something so horrible like that. I felt like that for 3 months after Mayley was born and I felt like a bad mom. I wish I could have admitted to my gyno that I was going through that but I wold paste on the fake smile and overly obnoxious "every things great!" talk. I guess I was afraid to start taking something. I realize now if it happens again there is nothing to be ashamed of and drugs are sometimes good! ;)

Callihan Clan said...

I am so glad you are back on the happy train :) I wish depression wouldn't hit so many mommas. It just doesn't seem fair that all we go throw we must endure something so horrible like that. I felt like that for 3 months after Mayley was born and I felt like a bad mom. I wish I could have admitted to my gyno that I was going through that but I wold paste on the fake smile and overly obnoxious "every things great!" talk. I guess I was afraid to start taking something. I realize now if it happens again there is nothing to be ashamed of and drugs are sometimes good! ;)

The Bells said...

Ooooh Ali! I miss you and your posts. Reading your blog makes me want to come down there and visit. Let Isla and Ginger-love swim, the boys skate that SUPER AMAZING ramp, and lay around and get tan with you. Your sister's baby is to die for. You two have me aching for a baby now. But Aaron is still too overwhelmed. Or so he says. I hope you are feeling better. Is there anything I can do for you? From hundreds of miles away anyway? haha. I think it's about time we come down and visit. We can conveniently come down over the move with our truck and help!?!?! BTW, I am in love with Casey in that picture where he is holding Willow. And sweet Ginger is such a big girl now. Miss you all - give Casey and Ginger hugs and rub your belly from the Bells.

Brett and Melissa said...

Oh you are so cute... I am always so proud of you for sharing your hard times because I always try to hide mine! I want to see you. I need to plan a trip to Vegas. You are good inspiration... Keep up the good work!

ABBOTTLAND said...

First of all, your blog is the first one I check to see for an update when I log onto blogger, no lie. You make me laugh, cry and sometimes say "did she really type that" all in the same sitting. I love, love, love reading your posts. You are real, and that's what we all want girl! Love Ginger's pigtails, she is going to be a great big sister. It does take a little while to adjust going from 1 to 2 kids, but after a while you will be so glad you had them close together, they'll be buds for sure. I'm glad you are feeling happier and back to blogging again. Keep it coming :)
~Mandy