Monday, January 31, 2011

I have no idea

what I am about to post.
I just know that its time for an update.

firstly, I lost my sanity.
then I found it.
then I lost it again.
then I found it, lost it and on and on.
As of right this moment
I can be trusted standing on the edge of a cliff.
I should erase that last sentence...
because I truly think my mom is nervous that
i am google mapping "nearest cliff to Las Vegas to jump off of".

The past 5 or 6 weeks have been
absolutely nuts. A blur.
Oliver hasn't really had a chance to enjoy this lovely world yet.
Which means Mama hasn't either.
He's been sick since he was born.
Thankfully not sick enough to be in the hospital
but sick enough for life to suck.

And I am my own worst enemy.
The anxiety is so effing ridiculous.
It's worst about 8pm.
I start to feel super sleepy.
Then I have temporary amnesia and start to get excited
that it's almost bedtime and I can sleep.
Then... Bam, it hits me.
Seriously, picture me...
Mary Tyler Moore-ish skipping down the street,
about to throw my hat in the air
I get hit by a bus.
The "Hahaha, you have a newborn who never got the
babies sleep 15 hours a day memo" bus.
And then I cry.


And they cry too.
They cry way more than I do...
So stop referring to me as "overly emotional"
at least I dont cry when I poop or when I get apple juice instead of lemonade.

Oliver is really, really handsome.

photo (20)

And I'm going to be honest,
I've cried many tears,
locked myself in the bathroom
more than once.
had multiple anxiety attacks
and have found myself promising
him a million promises
that soon, it will all be okay.
Oh, and the prayers. My goodness the prayers.

But I love him.
I love him, I love him, I love him.

I think he's warming up to me...

photo (19)

He loves his face caressed.

Right this second Ginger is doing yoga.
Seriously shes on my mat saying downward dog.
She is like so 2011.
Yoga's still current, right?
Were about to have a shot of blended grass in a minute.

Oh now she's pooping.
I know because she puts her hands over her eyes and grunts.
Just trying to give you the play by play in our life.
And no, she's not potty trained.
And no, I am in no hurry to get the training going.
However, if you would like to borrow her for a few weeks
and return her with a pack of undies and an affection for the toilet,
Be my guest.

Real Housewives of whatever city is the best show.
Newborns need their diaper changed 72 times a day.
Moses is the easiest child I'll ever have.
Mrs. Myers lemon scented cleaning supplies make cleaning better.
You know Im stressed when I'm scrubbing my grout.
I desperately want company but Im not an initiator.
But dont ring the doorbell.
Never ever ever ring the doorbell.
The new H&M in Vegas is fabulous.
Ginger wants to watch Tinkerbell every day, three times a day.
Our new ward, The Legacy Ward, has the most amazing people in it.
Ginger now says "Oh myyyyy gooooooossssh" with incredible dramatic flair.
She also says "damn it".
I need to watch what I say, damn it.
I am now 28 years old.
My Mom took me to see Cher and it was the best surprise ever.
I cried during the show, how embarrassing.
My kids need their nails trimmed.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Check out my new couch pillow from Anthropologie.

photo (17)

So fun.

So that's glimpse of the current events in the Treese household.
Every day One humongous ball of crazy, busy, loud, frustrating, joyful, stressful,
sometimes sad, always chaotic energy.
And 5 weeks into this,
I still feel like its my first day of a new job...
and I have no clue what the freak I'm doing.
But I'm doing it.
And Im proud of that.


The Smith Family said...

Hi! I know you don't know me, but I just LOVE your blog. So funny, So real...I have two boys and I have felt how you feel often. It get's better...haha :) Just so you don't think I'm crazy..I know Clay and Amber, that is how I found you. Anyways...keep us the good work! You have two adorable little ones :)

andrea. said...

i didn't know whether to cry or laugh over your post. all i can say is that i relate. i love your honesty, i really do. thank you! i know your a great mom. but being a mom is hard.

i haven't had any desire to blog since i had baby #2 because honestly most days are hard and exhausting and a test of my patience. and the days that are good i don't think about anything but just enjoying the day.

on another note...i cannot wait to meet oliver. he is adorable! the stupid weather in utah is telling me that i need a trip to vegas so i will keep you posted. for now though, hang in there! and find something everyday to laugh about [that's what i have to do to keep my sanity!].

The Swan's said...

Ali first can i hire you to write my post, ill tell you about whats going on in my life and you tell it how it is, lol, love your post i was having a bad morning but you make me laugh, cry and feel like i am not the only crazy busy mom in this life! =) and it DOES get better thats for sure, minus the crying over the wrong drink and the stress of being the best mom, lets face it our kids CANT trade us in! haha keep up the good work! oliver is definatly a handsome baby and ginger is beautiful. good luck!

Kate Korr said...

Alexis, how I've missed you. My children drive me efffffffffffing insane on a daily basis. Michael walks around either shrieking at the top of his lungs or he's screaming 'MINEEEEEEEE!' [because he refuses to talk and say anything else but MINE, HI, BYE BYE, DADA, and MAMA. That's it] Because he doesn't talk, he gets pissed that we can't understand him and the screaming and shrieking escalate. Ellie on the other hand, is in a stage where she doesn't share a flipping BIT and is very whiny. This morning, I got up early, fed the kids breakfast and took them to the childrens gym at LVAC because they love it. After, I came home, showered, fed them a snack and headed to the Shark Reef. We had to leave 15 mins into it because Michael was throwing a tantrum because Ellie wouldn't share her doll stroller. My mom and dad both call me after all of my exacerbated blog and facebook posts just to make sure I haven't shoved my children out the front door [oh I've thought about it]. As for locking yourself in the bathroom, I lock myself in the bathroom AND the laundry room to get away from the screaming. I swear Michael turns it on full blast as soon as the phone rings. Little bastard. I should probably erase that, but I'm not going to. Anyway, know that you. are. not. alone. Love, the korr baby farm is officially CLOSED for business.

Luke, Nicole, and Brighten said...

I love you so much and truly miss you!!! I love that you wear your emotions on your sleeves and really say how you feel. My second was a real adjustment for me as well!!! I remember while I was at the hospital they reminded me to fed her every two hours. I thought to myself "well, thats not right...I just did this 18 months ago...that nurse doesn't know what she is talking about....that is all that I would do all day." Needless to say I was soon brought back to reality. I too did the 2 kids in diapers for awhile. Try to fit 20 diaper changes into feeding a baby every two hours and it does equal insanity. There is nothing better in the world...yet few things harder at times!!!
At times I would literally stop dead in my tracks and remind myself that this to is just a stage and my life will get back to normal someday.....and it does but only better!!!!!!! I know that you know all of this...just like I did. Just remember to breath and take breaks when needed. Luke was working late last week and I couldn't wait until bedtime before I got a moment. So, I locked myself in my room for five minutes while Teagan had her fingers under the door crying "momma momma". Then all was fine with the world again. Hang in you!!!!!!

Alyssa said...

congratulations on the birth of your son; he's gorgeous and hang in there! i'm getting ready to experience the "holy freaking two kids" thing in a few weeks and i am still amazed at how i get overwhelmed with just one 2 year old a lot of the time, so i am a bit in denial about being hit by that bus you speak of VERY soon.

my first has never been a great nighttime sleeper, so i'm hoping i won't be so in shock this time around. i remember saying to my mom who was visiting, "i just want to kill myself." every single night when my daughter would wake up and cry for at least an hour before she fell back asleep. my mom was definitely questioning how serious i was on a few of those nights.

all i can say is that us moms have your back and think you're doing a great job. and i do yoga with layne almost every day, it's actually amazing how even the easiest routine and seeing her little butt doing downward dog can restore some sanity and clarity into a day.

ok, off to shower for the first time in 48 hours and i don't even have a newborn to use as an excuse for that!

take care!


I love your posts, they are so honest and freakin hilarious! Not that I'm laughing at you. I have felt the way you feel so many times and yet here I am expecting my 4th, so I guess I have lost my mind :) Oliver is a gem. I love all that hair he has. It is so hard adjusting from 1 to 2 kids. I think that was the hardest for me too. I PROMISE you it does get better. You find what works and what doesn't and my biggest advice is DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP. Each day is a "do-over" and your kids will not be scarred. You are a great mom, you can see how much love you have for them in your pics. One day at a time girl!

Whitney R said...

Ali, I'm sorry you have been having such a hard time. I know how heart breaking it is to hear your kid cry and you're doing everything you can and it does nothing. And it goes on and on. But I don't know how it is with two of them.

You are fantastic. And you keep taking those "bathroom" breaks whenever you need so you can come back a new. Even if it is only for 2 and a half minutes. Just take another one.

I love you. And I miss you. And I love your pillow. And the way G poops.

You are in my prayers. And I think about you, too. Call me if ever you need/want to. Or don't want to. Call me anyway and I listen really well. And I'll call you, too. But you have to answer :)