I have no idea

what I am about to post.

I just know that its time for an update.

firstly, I lost my sanity.

then I found it.

then I lost it again.

then I found it, lost it and on and on.

As of right this moment

I can be trusted standing on the edge of a cliff.

I should erase that last sentence...

because I truly think my mom is nervous that

i am google mapping "nearest cliff to Las Vegas to jump off of".

The past 5 or 6 weeks have been

absolutely nuts. A blur.

Oliver hasn't really had a chance to enjoy this lovely world yet.

Which means Mama hasn't either.

He's been sick since he was born.

Thankfully not sick enough to be in the hospital

but sick enough for life to suck.

And I am my own worst enemy.

The anxiety is so effing ridiculous.

It's worst about 8pm.

I start to feel super sleepy.

Then I have temporary amnesia and start to get excited

that it's almost bedtime and I can sleep.

Then... Bam, it hits me.

Seriously, picture me...

Mary Tyler Moore-ish skipping down the street,

about to throw my hat in the air

then

I get hit by a bus.

The "Hahaha, you have a newborn who never got the

babies sleep 15 hours a day memo" bus.

And then I cry.

And they cry too.

They cry way more than I do...

So stop referring to me as "overly emotional"

at least I dont cry when I poop or when I get apple juice instead of lemonade.

Oliver is really, really handsome.

And I'm going to be honest,

I've cried many tears,

locked myself in the bathroom

more than once.

had multiple anxiety attacks

and have found myself promising

him a million promises

that soon, it will all be okay.

Oh, and the prayers. My goodness the prayers.

But I love him.

I love him, I love him, I love him.

I think he's warming up to me...

He loves his face caressed.

Right this second Ginger is doing yoga.

Seriously shes on my mat saying downward dog.

She is like so 2011.

Yoga's still current, right?

Were about to have a shot of blended grass in a minute.

Oh now she's pooping.

I know because she puts her hands over her eyes and grunts.

Just trying to give you the play by play in our life.

And no, she's not potty trained.

And no, I am in no hurry to get the training going.

However, if you would like to borrow her for a few weeks

and return her with a pack of undies and an affection for the toilet,

Be my guest.

Real Housewives of whatever city is the best show.

Newborns need their diaper changed 72 times a day.

Moses is the easiest child I'll ever have.

Mrs. Myers lemon scented cleaning supplies make cleaning better.

You know Im stressed when I'm scrubbing my grout.

I desperately want company but Im not an initiator.

But dont ring the doorbell.

Never ever ever ring the doorbell.

The new H&M in Vegas is fabulous.

Ginger wants to watch Tinkerbell every day, three times a day.

Our new ward, The Legacy Ward, has the most amazing people in it.

Ginger now says "Oh myyyyy gooooooossssh" with incredible dramatic flair.

She also says "damn it".

I need to watch what I say, damn it.

I am now 28 years old.

My Mom took me to see Cher and it was the best surprise ever.

I cried during the show, how embarrassing.

My kids need their nails trimmed.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Check out my new couch pillow from Anthropologie.

So fun.

So that's glimpse of the current events in the Treese household.

Every day One humongous ball of crazy, busy, loud, frustrating, joyful, stressful,

sometimes sad, always chaotic energy.

And 5 weeks into this,

I still feel like its my first day of a new job...

and I have no clue what the freak I'm doing.

But I'm doing it.

And Im proud of that.

two thousand eleven

Happy New Years!

Obviously you know by now

Our family of three is now a family of four.

Well, four and a half.

I always feel bad for not counting Moses.

Being a mother of two kids under two

is BANANAS.

and I am going to be honest...

I am struggling.

More on that later though.

I just wanted to share our New Years with you.

Ginger spent the night with my parents,

so it was Casey, me and Ollie.

Our friends Michele and Cade had their annual New Years Party

and it was fabulous.

[Michele and me]

Oliver was pretty mellow when we got there,

then about an hour later he started to get fussy...

After a few attempts of trying to calm him

Casey thought it best to take him upstairs

thinking, perhaps he was over stimulated.

So up we went and shut ourselves in the bedroom

and tried to comfort Ollie.

After some troubleshooting, we figured out that he was constipated.

So we undressed him and Casey

went to work trying to help Oliver deliver a poo.

This includes pushing his legs and massaging his bum.

And that's when we heard the celebration from downstairs.

"Happy New Year!"

they yelled.

I looked at the clock, yep- it was 12:00

Officially 2011 and there we were

two tired parents

ringing in the new year with shit.

So we laughed.

and kissed.

And acknowledged the obvious;

We werent 23 year old care free kids anymore.

Life is so very different now.

and I wont lie

Thats a difficult thing to accept sometimes.

Especially when all you want to do is be selfish and

not carry the burden and responsibility that every

decision you make

affects your spouse and kids.

But.

As I sat there with my husband

and my newborn

and his crap filled diaper...

It all felt so right.

And I couldnt think of anywhere else I'd rather be.

Happy New Year!

I title this one, "A wistful Casey".

no,

"A wistful Casey with a touch of gay"

I a have a special "casey voice" I like to use and

make up captions for this photo.

And Omg you guys- its so funny.

Im like so freaking funny.

PDA between couples

married over two years

makes me feel so happy.

But they have to be married that long at least,

otherwise, its so gross and obnoxious.

FYI, these two are four years (I think).

Ahhh fun times...

We laughed so hard.

Like omg, so hard, I almost ate the camera.

Adventures in Oliverland coming soon.