I didn't take a stupid before picture.
I didn't take a stupid before picture.
Still banging my head against the wall.
When we first saw this house
I really had to do my best to see it as a blank canvas.
The bones of this home are so wonderful.
It's the perfect size, and such a great use of space.
But when I first walked in I was a little overwhelmed.
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Where in the New Jersey Hell am I?
I'm pretty sure the owner is a direct relative of The Situation.
See the three glasses of wine at the bottom of the picture...
She never did offer us a glass.
I'm pretty sure she sat down at that table after we left
and enjoyed herself a wonderful vino afternoon.
I digress.
Walking into this home you get slapped in the face with a brass chandelier.
I am so OCD and get really stuck on such a blemish.
My sincerest apologies to all of you brass chandelier fans out there.
but really it's one of the worst things to happen to home decor since
professional athletes began making the big bucks.
So as Snookie's mom is showing us the laundry room
I am picturing me taking a hammer to that sucker
over and over again.
and over
again.
and again and again and again.
When we moved in Casey took it down right away for fear
that if my period hit the same time as a full moon I might turn
into a werewolf and he'd go blind from a wayward glass shard striking him in the eye
as I get my revenge on brass.
Now I see why my English papers where always peppered
with red "RUN ON SENTENCE!!!" marks.
That's only a taste of the way my mind operates on a full time basis.
anyway. hole in the ceiling left over from removed chandelier prior to finding a replacement.
Caught up?
Okay so I'm on the hunt for an affordable fixture.
Finally I find myself on Maryland Parkway a street I avoid like the plague
when I see what I've been dreaming about.
A discount lighting store.
There I spend a good two hours studying every fixture searching for a large inexpensive
replacement I can perform surgery on.
Ever since I saw Pamela Anderson's Malibu beach house on cribs
I have been obsessed with having a shabby chic chandelier.
Don't judge. Her personal style in fashion surprisingly has no reflection
on her design abilities.
As I mentioned before...
I did NOT take a stupid before picture.
So please if you will imagine...
a 6 arm fixture.
thrown up on
after eating nothing but peas for a week.
Now hang pears from it.
Okay, got a mental picture?
Now take a can of white spray paint to it.
Throw some bling on it.
And spend five months agonizing how you re going to make over these shades...
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I'm melting! I'm meeeeeeeeelting!
They. are. disgusting.
I'm really not this snobby about such insignificant things.
Perhaps five months of a white blob smacking me in the face
on a daily basis has
made my personality sterile.
At least I got a before picture of these nasty things.
Behold the after...
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What do you think? Is it too crafty?
Can you picture yourself making them every fourth Wednesday
night at relief society?
Don't lie.
I'm pretty satisfied with the final product
but then again anyone would be after agonizing over the
lunar moon calendar for five months.