I have no idea

what I am about to post.

I just know that its time for an update.

firstly, I lost my sanity.

then I found it.

then I lost it again.

then I found it, lost it and on and on.

As of right this moment

I can be trusted standing on the edge of a cliff.

I should erase that last sentence...

because I truly think my mom is nervous that

i am google mapping "nearest cliff to Las Vegas to jump off of".

The past 5 or 6 weeks have been

absolutely nuts. A blur.

Oliver hasn't really had a chance to enjoy this lovely world yet.

Which means Mama hasn't either.

He's been sick since he was born.

Thankfully not sick enough to be in the hospital

but sick enough for life to suck.

And I am my own worst enemy.

The anxiety is so effing ridiculous.

It's worst about 8pm.

I start to feel super sleepy.

Then I have temporary amnesia and start to get excited

that it's almost bedtime and I can sleep.

Then... Bam, it hits me.

Seriously, picture me...

Mary Tyler Moore-ish skipping down the street,

about to throw my hat in the air

then

I get hit by a bus.

The "Hahaha, you have a newborn who never got the

babies sleep 15 hours a day memo" bus.

And then I cry.

And they cry too.

They cry way more than I do...

So stop referring to me as "overly emotional"

at least I dont cry when I poop or when I get apple juice instead of lemonade.

Oliver is really, really handsome.

And I'm going to be honest,

I've cried many tears,

locked myself in the bathroom

more than once.

had multiple anxiety attacks

and have found myself promising

him a million promises

that soon, it will all be okay.

Oh, and the prayers. My goodness the prayers.

But I love him.

I love him, I love him, I love him.

I think he's warming up to me...

He loves his face caressed.

Right this second Ginger is doing yoga.

Seriously shes on my mat saying downward dog.

She is like so 2011.

Yoga's still current, right?

Were about to have a shot of blended grass in a minute.

Oh now she's pooping.

I know because she puts her hands over her eyes and grunts.

Just trying to give you the play by play in our life.

And no, she's not potty trained.

And no, I am in no hurry to get the training going.

However, if you would like to borrow her for a few weeks

and return her with a pack of undies and an affection for the toilet,

Be my guest.

Real Housewives of whatever city is the best show.

Newborns need their diaper changed 72 times a day.

Moses is the easiest child I'll ever have.

Mrs. Myers lemon scented cleaning supplies make cleaning better.

You know Im stressed when I'm scrubbing my grout.

I desperately want company but Im not an initiator.

But dont ring the doorbell.

Never ever ever ring the doorbell.

The new H&M in Vegas is fabulous.

Ginger wants to watch Tinkerbell every day, three times a day.

Our new ward, The Legacy Ward, has the most amazing people in it.

Ginger now says "Oh myyyyy gooooooossssh" with incredible dramatic flair.

She also says "damn it".

I need to watch what I say, damn it.

I am now 28 years old.

My Mom took me to see Cher and it was the best surprise ever.

I cried during the show, how embarrassing.

My kids need their nails trimmed.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Check out my new couch pillow from Anthropologie.

So fun.

So that's glimpse of the current events in the Treese household.

Every day One humongous ball of crazy, busy, loud, frustrating, joyful, stressful,

sometimes sad, always chaotic energy.

And 5 weeks into this,

I still feel like its my first day of a new job...

and I have no clue what the freak I'm doing.

But I'm doing it.

And Im proud of that.