Cheeeese

See that Cheese at the end?
It makes my world turn.

2010

Home.

I really miss my husband.

He's in Utah.
Fly fishing, welding and snowboarding.
and the house is so quiet without him.

Cue Mom.
A mother and daughter have a way of needing each other at the same time.
At least we seem to.
I had such a great time preparing for her visit.
Typically my time management skills are terrible.
Really, truly terrible.
What happens is usually Casey will give me some sort of heads up.
i.e. babe, we have to be there in a half hour and it takes 15 minutes to get there...
Sounds good. I say with a smile, going about my business.
the same business I was attending to before he made that comment.
So basically, not taking the cue that I should be changing my business
to the "getting ready" type of business.
Then five minutes until departure and I'm all,
Babe! Why didn't you tell me what time it was?!
And I'm rushing. And where the freak are my skinny jeans?!
And Stop following me around, youre making me nervous!
(Casey does this "following" thing when I'm late. drives me nuts)
And I'm a crazy lady.
And were 20 minutes late.
2 miles into our journey and I ask, Did you put diapers in the diaper bag?
And Casey's all, Why would I assume that the diaper bag doesn't already contain
diapers?!?
Casey is from Mars and I am from Venus.

But I digress.
Today I switched things up and started preparing dinner early.
And you know what?
I really enjoyed myself and it was even... dare I say... relaxing?
Yes. Relaxing.
I had music on and I'm not talking about the Wiggles.
Like Real Grown Up music.
I had candles burning.
There was even some dancing in the kitchen, donning an apron with Ginger moments.
I know. Crazy.
And this happiness continued all through the night
while mom and I ate roast and watched Paper Moon.
Which by the way, all I could think of during that movie was...
Tatum, one day you are going to get busted for trying to buy drugs from
an undercover cop.
Then you'll go on Oprah to apologize to your kids for it.

Moral of this post is...
Someone once told me
(granted, in a moment of anger)
that I'm incapable of just. being. happy.

I thought, I can be freaking happy, you moron.
I'll show you.

That all led me to making an effort
to look for and acknowledge the beautiful and happy moments more often.
And it just seems like those moments reveal themselves to me
more everyday.
Because I'm seeking after them, not waiting for them to slap me in the face.
It's fantastic.
Honestly.
As fake as this all sounds.
I know it seems that way.
I'd roll my eyes too.
But. I'm grateful. So there you go.

And to any of you that say I'm not capable of contentment...
Suck it.

kidding.
I totally just ruined this post for some people.









AND Ginger learned a new trick.
Drumroll please...

Ta-Dah! She can take off her diaper.



Now I've been known to stage a photo or 2.
(Oh you know you've done it)
But I swear to you, I caught this picture candidly.
No remotes, no x-box controllers, no candy wrappers.



Still, I'd welcome the mess
if it meant Casey was home.

Anyone ready to throw up yet?
No?

Dearest Casey,


How about now?

And so I say,
Go forth,
Acknowledge the happy moments.
Look for the beauty in life.
Buy flowers.
Tell Tatum O'Neal her future through the t.v.
Enjoy the occasional Baby Butt.
And tell the naysayers to suck it.

Ginger's pissed off at Elmo.

Well Ginger, Elmo was just being honest.

Today I read this...



In THIS moment...
the house is quiet.
Ginger is napping.
music is playing quietly.
I can smell my lilies Casey bought me.
I'm in my pj's
on the couch with Moses
playing on my computer,
instead of cleaning my house.
drinking tea with milk.
And I just spent a half hour
of my life
putting words into
my 10 month old daughter
and Elmo's mouth's.
Can you say huge nerd?

So in this moment I am happy.
and what I'll take from that
is
I have a happy life.

Someone has a Christmas message...

Christmas. 11:30 p.m. She is still awake. Teething is awesome.

Everything is Going to be okay.

Well if were going with optimism
Let's really go with it...



It was a rough month or so,
but I made it.
And I feel renewed.
And grateful.

First.


One reason why...



Second.

I am proud to say...
I decorated for Christmas... yesterday.
That's right, 4 days before Christmas.






And Finally... Ginger.

It's all about the Hamiltons baby

Vanity Fair named "Lazy Sundays"
as the web-video sensation of the decade.
I've watched Andy Samburg rap about
The Chronicles of Narnia about a hundred times tonight.
And it's still really, freaking funny.

So please grab your Mr. Pibb and Red Vines because
Mr. Pibb + Red Vines = Crazy Delicious.
Double True.
and behold the awesomeness...



And Remember... It's all about the Hamiltons baby.

My list for Santa

All I want for Christmas...

1. A sense of Peace in my heart, mind, home.
2. Big smiles and giggles from Ginger, in copious amounts.
3. Energy
4. To go to bed and know, I've done my best.
5. Courage and grace
6. To play more and laugh often
7. To not dwell on the past and my many mistakes. Easier said than done.
8. To learn from the aforementioned mistakes.
9. Chocolate...again, in copious amounts.
10. World Peace, of course.

Not too much to ask, right?

I'm not going to pretend that some of these requests are just everyday things that I seek after.
And I dont want others to think this is just a pretentious list and not true desires.
Life has thrown me a huge curve ball.
And really, a big part of me wants to crawl under the covers and surrender.
But a bigger part of me wants to learn and grow from this no matter what the outcome is.
So this is my Christmas list as an imperfect human being hoping for a bit or a lot of grace
to get me through.
And to all of you facing your own personal struggle, I hope the same for you.
You can borrow my list if you'd like, but you can only get #2 if you come and visit.

By the way... Ignore the "read more" link,
I cant figure out how to get the stupid thing off my blog.

Magical Powers

I have an eight month old child.
and she's starting to do little person things.
She looks less fragile.
She's a bit more assertive when she wants something.
She vocalizes her feelings... not in any sort of language we understand of course.
But it's not hard to pick up the tone; happy, excited, sad, angry, etc.
She's the funniest girl in the world to me.
She is rolling and will crawl in a matter of days, I'm sure.
She is absolutely beautiful.

She likes to wear her Peruvian getup when we go to Norway. Naturally.


And in her free time she enjoys reading skateboarding magazines.


She likes to express herself.



And when she's not growling she's squealing in delight.



She likes to look you in the eyes and cast a spell that makes you beg her to tell you her dreams
so that you may make all of them come true.


The girl has magical powers, I'm telling you.

The Moment

And to this I say. Namaste.