A Tribe Called Treese

Reinventing

2012-01-22T20:30:00.001-08:00

“and reinvent your life because you must;
it is your life and
its history
and the present
belong only to
you.”

- Charles Bukowski (via atomiclanterns)

hello new year

2012-01-03T00:42:00.000-08:00

first off. my keyboard is all kinds of messed up,
so grammar mistakes are inevitable.
just in case that stuff bugs you.

Here's all the amazing things that happened in 2011.

and there you go.

But check it out.
Casey and I, hanging out on new years,
and he only told me I was annoying once.
and I only thought he was a pain in the arse twice.

Progress!

second. I started this post 3 days ago.
third. you guys, im so irritated right now.
My photoshop just up and quit in the middle of a picture i was editing
and i happen to be feeling highly ocd, so I dont even want to tell you the time I lost,
I know, I know. Save as I go. Im a ruhtard.
I dont say the f word, but let me tell you... My head says it. a lot.
right now its on repeat.

Fourth...ps im going to stop counting now, dumb idea.
you wouldnt believe all the different levels of dramz going on right now.
Its so bananas, I dont even know where to start.
My dad was just recently commenting on our vida loca,
and he says in regards to a decision he and my mom made...
"We just gotta stay committed... before one of us gets committed."
HA!

I have so much frustration going on right now.
I mean, things sucked and then the Suck Fairy came and then vomitted suck on
the pre-existing suckiness and Im like what the fuuuuuh?

Meanwhile my brother's in town and is fresh off of some sort of vision on a mountaintop.

No, really...he's riding this spiritual wavelength I cant even comprehend...
But he's got me all figured out.
something about my vibrations being off.and my heart needs to be in my head and
well basically, not be so consumed in everyone else's webs of woe and focus on my own journey.
So he's all zen (except when it comes to my laptop being an ahole- when he's on it, then he
looks close to punching it.)
Last night we were talking about walking on eggshells around certain people or at certain times...
and how its really freaking annoying,
and he's all, "ya, but you gotta respect the eggshells"
respect the eggshells? what the? I think id rather run them over with a bull dozer
and then set them on fire.
My mom says, "ya, but what about the chicken?"
And my brother gave her that half courtesy smile.
(That chicken question seems ten times funnier today as I write it.)
And I added some small retort.
which he almost responded to; had my eggshells not gotten in the way.

Back to me not getting so involved in others crap, when Ive got my own.
He's right, I have to let that go.
For crying out loud, I went to a year of therapy for this very thing,
And made great strides towards sanity.
But Im so programmed to try to come to the rescue.
It's not my fault.
My mom named me Alexis.
literal translation: defender.
I'm screwed. I wonder what name stands for "I dont give a crap", that's
what I'd like to be called.
It'd be awesome if I really did help fix things,
but I inevitably make it worst.
every.single.time.

You know what i'd really like to do? I just want to go ape-shiz. Like, scream and cry and tell everyone how
I really feel; good and bad. I want to throw stuff. Like a windex bottle.
*first thing I ever threw at Casey*
**and we wonder why were having problems**
***BUT let it be known, Im like three years clean when it comes to throwing crap out of anger***
Do I get a pin or chip for that?
Speaking of AA...
I'd also like to find an inconvenient vice to get addicted so I can just stop feeling. stop caring.
and then go to sleep for a week.
But freak, I've got almost 29 years of life lived (yikes),
and I know better.
Which means,
The more I try to handle this with integrity, the better.
I understand there's no easy fix. Its going to take a lot of work to put
back together all the pieces that fell apart.

really the biggest thing keeping me going...
are these two.

In fact with them around, theres no other option but to keep on keepin on.
I dont want to just survive this,
I want to come out of this kickin butt in life.
I want to be the dopest phoenix they ever saw.
So if ever they find themselves in a similar place of trials and pain,
I can be an example of the goodness that comes from rising above it all.

Aside from my phoenixish aspirations,
I'm really loving photography these days.
Im working on a 20 interesting people project.
I just take ten shots in fifteen minutes.
and try to capture something real.

This is Patrick. We met up in front of Wendys.
I was buying a lens from him via craigslist.
He was such a nice guy.
And, man he looked like he had the kind of life that
brings me back to reality.
Like he had a million stories to tell.
I was all, Do you mind if I take some pictures of you?
He was smoking a cigarette and was like "ME?" and kinda chuckled.
He kindly obliged, even if he thought it was random.
And we sat on the curb and started chattin away.
and the whole experience was
well, it was pretty awesome.
Just that human connection.
With an unlikely person.
It kind of changed me.
Made me slow down. reminded me of the importance of how we interact with others.

Shout out to Craigslist Patrick. sending you good vibes.

Ill sign off with a "Bon courage" and dedicate this post to "this is"... whoever you are.

The hard Post

2011-11-30T00:57:00.001-08:00

This is the part where I tell you.

[dont read this, sing it in your head, tune: theme to the Fresh Prince]

Now this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there
And tell you Casey and I have been separated for 6 months.

like ripping off a band-aid.

You know, our parents generation never had to wonder about when, how or if they'd
announce something like this via facebook/blog/twitter etc.

I just felt like I should put it out there because
this blog has always been a place where I can share/document my life.
and my life is not what it was.
And my writing just started to feel inauthentic.
What's another way of saying "crap or get off the pot"?
because i want to use a prettier version of that phrase.
But really, all my vague posts about being stressed and overwhelmed
were starting to annoy me.
so I thought, either, stop doing personal posts or just get it out there.

So there you have it.

here are a few things I'll share:

...okay wait, deep breath...
still breathing.

these are just random pieces of information.
things I feel I can share.

I love Casey.
first and foremost, I love him and I want his happiness.
I dont know how the hell I ended up here.
Last night, we wanted to work things out.
tonight, I feel like a series of miracles need to occur for us to have a chance.
two weeks ago, We were going to get a divorce.
Weve gone back and forth a few times.
In the past six months... I have not had one single day that felt normal.
the kids and I are living with my parents and have been since May.
Casey lives in Pahrump.
I would do anything to have a redo at this marriage.
But to sum it up.
Its awful. just so incredibly awful. I dont know how else to put it.

So thats that.
I probably should have written a more eloquent post.
But this territory is so unfamiliar.

So I ask for prayers on behalf of my family.

xoxo

Willow

2011-11-29T17:23:00.001-08:00

Gratiphoto

2011-11-10T19:11:00.001-08:00

Get it?

DayLouBiLou
NIGHTTIME

Things havent been easy lately.
Im under a stupid amount of stress.
It's starting to affect me more then I'd like to admit.
I'm super low on patience.
I'm sensitive.
And I hate to admit this.
Ugh. Er.
Sometimes Im just plain mean.
Which makes me want to cry just thinking of it.
Again, Im sensitive.
But I really dont want to be that "girl", and I certainly dont want to be that wife, mom, daughter, sister etc.
Im trying though. Lord knows I am.

Remember the first time you were pregnant?
Because I am assuming anyone reading this is female and has two or more kids?
Rephrase; The first time I was pregnant, I thought everyone in the world should
Jump up and down with joy, and give me sympathy... lots of sympathy, and pretty much treat me
like I was Royalty.
I mean, I. Was. Growing. A. Child. Inside. Of. Me.
I wanted strangers to high five me as we crossed paths and say something like,
" You Go Girl! Way to be a vessel for a soul. A soul that may be the next President of the United States,
You are terrific! , May I get you anything? Boba tea, perhaps? A Margherita Pizza, Sausalito cookies??
And Id be all, oh you are so kind to offer... yes. All of the above please, Oh and tums too please"
But life just went on as usual.

I feel a similar way when you are going through a difficult time in your life.
Like I am the only one who should be jaded from life.

Everyone one else should put on the kid gloves and handle me.
But make sure they are the "invisible kid gloves" so I dont feel pathetic.

A few days ago someone pointed out "I wasnt the only person in the world who was stressed."
And I was all, "SayWhaaaaaaaaaat?"
and then I put them on my ~~Crap~~ Gratitude list.
Because Now I know... Im not the only one. This whole time I thought the guests on Dr. Phil and Suze Orman
were actors acting like they had problems.
Im such an idiot.
Well even if there are other "stressed outters" out there
I still want special treatment. I still want high fives in the street... "you go girl! You washed your hair... AND blow dried it?!"
"You kept your cool when your toddler, cried, whined and begged for three hours straight because she "wanted a barn" (true story}, heres a gift certificate for a massage.

Random praise a some more slack- It would just make these life events easier.

Anyway, this particular day was rough for Ginger and I.
She has been...
how should I put this?
Challenging.
Difficult.
Hellacious. Let's just be honest.

I love her.
But freak, somedays...

So her terrible twoness and my lack of patience is not a good combination.
Its not always bad. Somedays are amazing with her. Sometimes all she needs is a timeout.
Sometimes all I need is a timeout.

Anyway that evening she wasnt going to sleep.
And I was so exhausted from trying to come up with effective parenting solutions.
So at midnight, I surrendered and looked at her and said, "Do you want some pumpkin pie?"
Her smile and halfmoon eyes said it all.
So the two of us, in our jammies, hopped down the stairs holding hands.
I grabbed a fork and we sat ourselves on the counter and ate us some pie.

Followed by some good ol shut eye.

Abd you know what, Ginger totally high fived me!

I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR SIMPLE PLEASURES... LIKE EATING PIE IN YOUR JAMMIES WITH YOUR DAUGHTER. AND HIGH FIVES FOR CREDIT.

Smiles, Light, and Movement

2011-11-10T03:40:00.000-08:00

Because I excelled at the other one.
I decided another photography challenge was in order.
After all, last time-

I think I made it up to day 7... pretty awesome.

But this one is different.

Its a gratitude photo challenge.

I love when I see other peoples gratitude posts on FB

or their blog or whatever.

It reminds me to count my blessings.

They say being grateful is one the most tried and true ways

to be happy.

In that case...

I AM SOOOOOOO GRATEFUL. OMG IM GRATEFUL.

IM CRAZY GRATEFUL! IM SO SUPER GRATEFUL I MIGHT DIE WHILE TYPING THIS!!

DO YOU HEAR ME UNIVERSE? IM GRATEFUL!

SEND FORTH THE HAPPY FAIRIES UNTO ME!

I think its working already you guys.

So heres the challenge:

And here are my rules.

Did you know you could make your own?

You can. In the immortal words of my brother

(and Im sure many other brothers)

"It's a free country".

When we were kids

He used to put his foot like 2 mm from my face.

So annoying.

And I'd be all, "Move your foot you frickin tard!"

And then he'd be like, " Its a free country".

Im pretty sure Thomas Jefferson and all his delegates, were sittin around in

Independence Hall and He was all, "You guys... We have got to get this on paper!

We need some sort of universally accepted document that ensures my rights as a human being,

Like if I wanna put my foot in JMad's face, then he cant just shoot me because its obnoxious.

What do you think of the term "Free Country?" The wigged men are like, hmm good idea... meanwhile

James Madison is rolling his eyes in the background but agrees because hes got plans of his own to annoy the hell out of Jefferson later.

What were we talking about?

Oh right, Im changing the rules.

Y'all... I AM GRATEFUL to make my own rules considering photo challenges

discovered on pinterest.

Anyway. I have the photography fire burning in my soul, coating my bones, circulating

my low blood count.

Yes. Its that serious.

I also want a creative way to express what I am grateful for.
So this is perfect.

Okay. the gratitude challenge rules. drumroll please.

(Im so sure youre doing a drumroll in your pjs right now)

And I AM GRATEFUL. for your fingers drumming or the sound you are making in your head.

HEAR THAT HAPPY FAIRIES?? Another statement of gratitude.

Rule 1. I can do day 22 on day 6 if I want to.

Its my challenge, I can do it non-sequentially if I want to.

Rule 2. Feel the spirit of the challenge... if I see something I am grateful for.

Bust out the Canon or iphone- its a free country.

Rule 3. Have fun. If it feels like a pain in the butt. Dont bother at the moment.

Rule 4. Post when you can what you can.

Rule 5. any rules may be broken or altered at any time.

WHEW. Now this is my kind of challenge.

You know what... while im on this "Im an adult & "can change the rules" kick.

Let's lose the word challenge.

Actually, let's just give it a better name...

From hereon forth it shall be called the

"Unspecified Number of Days of Public Acknowledgement of Gratitude. A Super Fun Photo Project That I Can Do if it Brings Me Joy."

And just to make it official...

New name, No commitment words, and no specified days.

big smile.

Okay, here are some Grateful Pictures.

Day LaLaLa: SMILE

Be still my heart. His smile does some sort of magic on me.

I Am SO GRATEFUL for OLIVER'S SMILE.

Day LaDiDa: LIGHT

Oh Sunshine... on the beach...a bestie Miss Seana...drinking in the rays while her babe Miss Charlotte...sleeps peacefully.
Que Sheryl Crow... I, Im gonna soak up the sun. Im gonna tell everyone to lighten up.

I Am SO GRATEFUL for the Light of the Sun and the Light of Good Friends.

Day FaLaLaLa: MOVEMENT

Oh where to begin. This is me and my brother James. I just met him. Isnt that crazy?
Here we are... ballet on the beach- no biggie.
James, his girlfriend- Jesse, my brother Ray and I played on the beach for hours.
Jesse had never seen the ocean- which blew my mind. So I was all, get in my car! were going on a road trip!

We went straight here and spent four hours on that beach.
And you know what? I can truly say these were with the exception of my wedding day and the births of my children...
they were the best hours of my life.
You cant tell from this photo but James is quiet, reserved, serious. He is kind. So kind. With a smart sense of humor that is more for him than anyone else... like its not on display.
And he tries hard not to laugh. Like when I say to Ginger... Dont you dare smile...! and the corners of her cheeks start to move up and she cant decide whether or not to give in or fight it.
So James gets this smirk and its all I can do to not start treating him like my toddler and tickle him until he laughs.
Which would be weird. To be a 22 with an older sister you just met 48 hours prior
start to tickle you.
The way all of us were that day, free, peaceful but full of life... It was God Given.
Its so difficult to explain but I know that to be true. After this day we all had a pretty rough time dealing with all the extras that come along. I havent talked to James... not intentionally... And Ray and I had a bit of a falling out, that broke my heart.

But... We'll always have paris.

Better yet, Well always have Zuma Beach.

I Am SO GRATEFUL for My BROTHER JAMES who Was Willing to dance with me and My BROTHER RAY who I had never seen giggle and Smile so much in all my life. I AM Most definitely GRATEFUL for the way we put aside all the confusion of the past and ALLOWED OURSELVES TO BE FREE.
Free to dance, Free to look dumb. Free to be silly.

There you go friends... words, pictures and things you didnt know about me.

Fancy a Funny?

2011-10-07T13:08:00.000-07:00

I know I've already done a random post this morning,
but I cant resist another.

I dont know why I felt the need to say that...
like Im breaking some blogging commandment.
dumb.

Anyway, I found the Fresh Prince link and this link
via A Cup of Jo
Her friday links are always great.

This is 25 pictures taken at exactly the right time
They all made smile and laugh in my head...
but this one was the winner for me...

Laughed out loud, scared my dog, and Im still giggling.

The story of the Prince of Bel Air

2011-10-07T12:53:00.000-07:00

jimmy fallon||as neil young||as will smith

just laugh, even if it is dumb.

2011-10-04T02:20:00.000-07:00

Whenever I start to feel sad...
I get awesome...
no thats not how it goes- is it?
whatever that doogie howser quote is.
Is that even how you spell Doogie's last name?
And that's the wrong show reference.

Raise your hand if you have followed anything you just read.
Okay, two of you.

Let me start over...
Whenever I start to feel sad,
I go here http://juliasegal.tumblr.com
It's the most reliable website on the internet
in terms of finding stuff that makes me laugh or smile.

In the past five minutes,
this is what I found...

Numero uno

A scene from "Between two ferns" which is my fav.
Its a little show thing in which
Zach Galafanaskjhdkjfbbvdhkis interviews celebrities on funny or die.
And I die- it's so funny. As you can see from above.

dos

This isnt so super funny, but it made me smile.

thres. tres. three

AHAHAHAHA. That's just funny.

four. (counting in spanish was a dumb idea)

Big Smile. I adore him.

Finally Fivero

HA! what the?? So many people have actually typed this question into google,
it comes up second.
And why would you have to google that?
Because it happens a lot and youre starting to feel bad?
Or because you were crying and someone farted and you dont know
whether or not to be mad at them.
Most likely because in a random conversation you said, "Its rude to fart when someones crying."
And your significant other replied, "No, its not."
And then you said, "Yes it is... google that shiz."

Truth be told... I did just google it.
I was wrong about all three scenerios.

Now tell me, you dont feel the least bit tempted to google it?

Not Forgotten

2011-09-30T02:25:00.000-07:00

I love this talk by President Uchtdorf.

As a mother, I find myself continually being surprised by
the blessings of this divine calling, as well as
the Incredible Responsibility I have to love and nurture and guide these children of mine.
The joy is greater then any joy I have ever known.
And conversely, the pressure is unlike any other I have known.
And with the territory come sacrifices, heartaches, guilt, and
exhaustion both physically and emotionally.
But knowing the divinity of my role, gives me reassurance
the Lord is always with me,
which brings me Peace- an invaluable resource.

Now if I could just tape that message to every wall of this house,

I love the way the gospel places value on Women.
Especially now that I have children.

I want Ginger to grow up knowing She is a Daughter of Heavenly Father,
and He loves her, with "an infinite love".
I want Oliver to be a man of worth and integrity
and to see women the way our Father in Heaven intends him to.
To respect the divinity within every one of them.

{Which reminds me to pray for the woman that does have my
Sweet Oliver's affections...
may she be as perfect as possible.
just kidding.
sort of}

And when the day comes that Ginger or Oliver may
be carrying a burden so heavy it engulfs him/her...

He will know, He is not forgotten. Heavenly Father knows him
and has prepared a way so that he may have that burden lifted.
and

She will know, She is not forgotten. Heavenly Father knows her
and has prepared a way so that she may have that burden lifted.

And you know what? I hope that for you too.
when the day comes that You may
be carrying a burden so heavy it engulfs you...

You will know, Your are not forgotten. Heavenly Father knows you
and has prepared a way so that you may have that burden lifted.

Whether you are LDS or not, a mother or not,
You should listen to the words and testimony of President Uchtdorf.
It is such a positive and powerful message.

Part One

Part Two

Oliber

2011-09-27T09:14:00.000-07:00

I just want him to be a baby forever.
He makes me sing church songs in my head.
Thats how much sunshine he brings to my soul.

secrets of superheroes

2011-09-22T01:25:00.000-07:00

If you have a toddler or have had a toddler
you probably understand the great contradiction
these little creatures pose.

I mean, they are quite bothersome, aren't they?

And yet, I cannot imagine my life without this beautiful, bothersome fairy, I call Ginger.

Warning... I just took my sleep meds
and Just so you understand the frame of mind Im in...
Im currently listening to this:

Rock Steady. Its what happens when someone wants you so much, and you didnt get it.

The other day G brought a tape to me and
asked, "Mama, What's this?"

A piece of me died that night when I realized she'd never realize the glory of
running on a treadmill, rockin her fly new walkman.

So we called it an accessory and I moved on with my life.

You know that crazy, awesome, adventurous, super fabulous life I have
wherein I make things like this to pass my time...

I title this one Ginger's bedhead.

She likes to hang out with her boyfriend, the running man...

.

Anyway back to my gingerdoodle.
Isn't she lovely?

Point of this post is...

Ginger makes me laugh and smile and feel loved every day.
Every morning, I can count on going to wake her up and hearing her saying "oh my butt"
Like shes just realizing she's naked.
And for the next 30 minutes, She is known as, Ginger "iwanna" Treese.
Because all I hear is, "I wanna color, I wanna eat. I wanna watch Shark Tale. I wanna Eat. etc. etc.
She's naked. Still.
And her hair is wild. Like Crazy "just escaped from the insane asylum" Hair.
And she is ocd about her clothes. random things like if it feel like their should be another button...
she loses her mind.
If I try to put on a cropped sweater... ABSOLUTELY BANANAS.
HateS it.
Empire waists... not into them.
Maybe thats why shes always naked because clothing stresses her out.

She is obsessed with the garbage truck aka Mater.
The other day I had my headphones on and was lying down in corpse pose meditating.
no for reals.
How else am I supposed to stay sane?
When all of a sudden she jumped on me, I opened my eyes to see her crazy excited eyes
an inch from my face.
And she yelled MATERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
I threw my headphones off, swooped her up and ran downstairs just in time to get out the door
so we can wave to Mater and they can give us a little honk
and make Ginger's day.
And she throws out compliments constantly.
"Ooooh I like your nails." "Ooooh those shoes are gorgeous."
And she gives credit where credit is due...
the other day, I power cleaned the house while she was napping, and when she woke up,
as she was walking down the stairs she goes, " Oh my goodness. Look at that. Its gorgeous."
"You did that Mama, Im so proud of you".

Not a man in sight would look twice, but that little 2 year old sees everything.
kinda scary.

But the most wonderful thing about Ginger is her thoughtful beautiful soul.

And every night I tell her a secret, its always I love you accompanied with a
compliment. Then Ginger tells me a secret.
For three weeks its been. " I love you and I like your coloring"

But do you know what her secret was today?

"I love you and youre a superhero."

Then I died.

I LOVE HER.

Free Night

2011-09-01T23:25:00.000-07:00

And so far Ive accomplished so much.

lie.

I swear I have a to do list a mile long...

and as soon as I have the time; Im like

Uhhhhh. errrr.

Quick someone demand something of me!

Im so lost.

Currently Im watching that documentary, Babies.

So much nudity. What is this rated?

No but really, Ginger would love to be an african babe...

All they wear are accessories. No clothes, just awesome necklaces.

Last week I had acupuncture,

this week I missed my appointment.

on purpose.

I just felt so out of wack since my first session.

I've been super low on patience and my body hurts more then before.

I have the worst back and neck pain.

I've even upped my yoga to two daily sessions.

sometimes its with Wiggles as my background music.

And occasionally I have to rig my poses around Oliver

in an effort to entertain him.

This is always fun because he gets super excited.

And when he's excited his legs go bananas.

So downward dog is usually accompanied by a kick to the chest.

Anyway, I was convinced my "off" week was because the doctor

screwed up my chi.

Maybe she tried to balance it but put a needle a millimeter too far.

Sounds logical to me.

Point is... I just realized something that may persuade me to pick up the phone

and beg her to squeeze me in tomorrow.

I realized...

I havent cried in a week.

Oh if you only knew how monumental this was.

Oh my gosh, African babies are so badass.

Remind me to buy oliver some wild animals.

Maybe a pet wildabeest or something.

Yes, thats the correct spelling.

I googled it.

This is the one Im thinking of buying him...

I think we'll name him, Pete.

Oh Speaking of Yoga... seven paragraphs above...

Happy Birthday to this lovely lady...

95 years young!

And also to this Gorgeous Mama

who is still under 50...

Thats not a new mole above her lip.

She's showing off Ginger's excellent makeup skills.

My mom is so amazing.

seriously.

Here's Oliver waiting to give her her birthday balloon...

Yes it says, "thinking of you."

Yes I bought it from the hospital gift store.

And yes, Oliver did almost poke his eye out with that and it had to be taken away.

Heres another picture just for cute sakes,

He was not too happy this night.

His teeth are coming in with a vengeance.

Luckily, he is a superhero and can tolerate this getting teeth nonsense.

And whats a post without this dollface/wierdo?

Not only is she pretty, she's also a total brainiac...

See, glasses to prove it.

okay, Im off to bed.

Oliver

2011-08-27T12:42:00.000-07:00

Everyone needs an Oliver in their life.

He's amazing.

Because I must

2011-08-19T01:00:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you have to just put words on something.

Ill say this most obvious statement.

I am having a really tough time with life right now.

But Im determined to walk out of this a winner.

Im not sure that sentence makes any sense.

so gratitude cultivates happiness and

acknowledging the good helps you notice more of the goodness.

I also heard that a stress free vacation on the beach is nice too...

At any rate, heres the goodness;

Milano Mint cookies- which I love, but my dad doesnt care for- strange.

Go Girl energy drinks... Mmmmm so good, but embarrassing to drink in public

because inevitably some stranger says, "You Go Girl"

which is nice but it makes me feel so dumb every time.

My family memory game that I am making... it's turning out to be pretty fantastic.

Much to my surprise.

thrift store books. I love only paying a dollar for a book.

Photoshop.

Netflix on my phone.

Kindle on my phone. Im currently reading Maine- by Courtney Sullivan- so far I love it,

even if I only can squeeze in five minutes of it.

pictures. Old ones, new ones.

My children are steller sleepers. Thats a beautiful thing. And I know Ive said that before.

But really, beautiful. They fall asleep easily and they sleep soundly. I like to think of it as Heavenly Father's gift to me; lest I go completely nuts.

Probiotics.

Oliver's smile. Its amazing. Oh and Oliver in pj's. And Oliver's face when he hears Elmo's voice.

And Oliver's hearty laugh.

Ginger and her gingerness. She can draw an e and an i - on purpose. she never wears clothes, random things like her saying, "Oh, for goodness sake" or "youve got to be kidding me." and her compliments, she's forever complimenting... " I like your earrings" "You made this! Good job Mama!" "Oooooh gorgeous", and the way she sometimes refers to me as sweetheart or pumpkin.

Okay, its late and I have a busy day tomorrow full of super exciting things like errands and paperwork.

Dont come here...

2011-08-13T02:44:00.000-07:00

if your looking for optimism.

May I vent? Thank you.

I hated today.

It was just a bunch of busyness, mixed in with ridiculousness, mixed in with tears, guilt and anger

and there you go.

And Im so tired of days like these.

The ones that just come and go and you realize

there is just so much more to life than all of this.

And the only person I can hold responsible for the way I live this life is me.

Theres just so much sadness going on and it gets to be consuming.

But ugh, Im over it. I need to buck up and start saying, to hell with it...

Im doing what I can do better the situation, thats all I can do, I need to let go of the rest.

easy peasy right?

off to bed. tomorrow- a new day. another chance.

well what do you know? a smidge of optimism.

Wisdom

2011-08-11T13:33:00.001-07:00

This deserves a reposting.

day 7

2011-07-27T23:06:00.000-07:00

In the words of Rachel Zoe,

Do you die? I die over this picture.

How perfect is he?

Yes. I skipped day 5 and 6...

but I've been sick as a dog.

and Ginger's sparkles are driving her nuts.

Yesterday, she unfortunately had to ask me if my mouth was sick,

after seeing me throw up for the 3rd time.

Then she woke up in the middle of the night crying

and said Look! Look! to my mom who rushed to her bed.

Behold, vomit was everywhere.

My poor baby.

All three of us shared mild fevers.

And sweet Oliver nearly jumped out of his skin every time I blew my nose.

All I can say is thank goodness for moms.

My mom came to our rescue yesterday and babied all three of us babies.

And my mother in law, Peggy, took Oliver for the day

so I could recoup.

These pictures of G and me crack me up.

Thats her Calamine Lotion. Bottom's Up.

A Case of the Sparkles

2011-07-25T08:04:00.000-07:00

Ginger woke up with some bug bites on her and

we just couldnt believe it.

We had the house sprayed twice within the last two weeks.

That was at 8 am, at 10 am she had about 18 bug bites.

Wait, that couldnt be right.

Chicken Pox!

Well, if I know one thing about my Ginger- or all toddlers, really -

it's that they are really, really impressionable.

One day I wore a shirt with a bit of sequin on it.

hey it's Vegas, totally acceptable.

Ginger said, Ooooooh, I like your sparkles.

I thanked her and then she pointed to a bug bite and said, I have a sparkle too!

Lightbulb!

theyre not chicken pox- they are sparkles.

Ooooh and they are so gorgeous!

We keep saying, I like your sparkles.

and she'll look at her arm admirably and say so sincerely, Oh thank you!!

And guess what?! You get to put pretty pink makeup on your sparkles!

Luckyyyyyy.

I would say this calls for a Sparkle Party!

And whats a party without some candles to blow out?

The cookies were supposed to look like sparkle pox.

And yes the first picture I did want the focus on the cookies.

However the seccond picture it was supposed to be on her happy little face.

Seriously it felt SO good to see the her look so happy as we sang

"Happy Sparkle Day to You"

Willow was a guest of honor, helping her celebrate...

and soon we will help her celebrate.

Yay.

I think it was a successful happy sparkle day overall.

day 3 and 4

2011-07-25T00:48:00.000-07:00

Day 3 was clouds.

It was about 8 pm when I realized this...

I was just about to make a run to the store

for diet coke and ice cream.

The sun was going down and I thought,

Oh pretty,

oh crap.

So I ran back in, grabbed the camera and stood in the middle of the street to

take a picture.

Day 4 is Something green.

I went to fremont Street last night with a couple of friends.

friends that are a couple.

a couple that feels like family.

Eric has some camera lenses that will blow your mind.

or at least make you say, Oh cool.

I kept saying, thank you for letting me play with your lenses.

Because seriously, it's really nice when someone lets you play with a toy that

is valuable to them.

Oh heres my green picture...

It's not my favorite picture of the night,

but I forgot about the green challenge and this was all I got.

well I got this one too,

sort of a green tint,

But I do love this picture...

Shout out to Jess.

A picture of you on my blog.

Ask and ye shall receive.

Did I mention I did day three on day four and day four a half hour

before day four.

I just felt like I should be honest.

Ok now to bed, where I am going to snuggle Oliver.

Oh and PS

Ginger has the Sparkles!

Chicken Pox= Sparkles

Day 2

2011-07-23T01:41:00.000-07:00

I told you this was going to be a challenge.

I didnt even remember to take a picture until 1130 tonight.

Too bad I couldnt find my camera.

So Photos via iphone.

What can you do?

Today was: What I wore Today.

I really wish I'd have known that when I got dressed.

This is a go to outfit,

usually reserved for running errands because its comfortable.

Pants: green slim cords from Anthropologie.

Top: an urban outfitter find. And guess who else has this shirt? Tori Spelling. She wore it on her reality show once. And I was like OMG.

Shoes: not shown... red vans. because I cant match to save my life. oh and sans laces because I was too lazy to put them in.

On a side note.

events of the day included...

sleeping in until 10 am. It. was. Ahhhhmazing.

an appt for the kids with the nutritionist. A stupid long time in the waiting room.

Ginger told the nutritionist her favorite food was "Vegetables".

I smiled modestly and did sort of a "what can I say?" shrug.

Even if it was a lie. Pretty sure her favorite food is chocolate chip pancakes with whipped cream.

But check out this drawing... she traced her hand!

Oliver: weight: 19.5 pounds. Height: 28 inches

Ginger: weight: 24 pounds. Height: 34 inches

Which I think is perfect for both of them.

Oliver tried very hard to crawl today.

Ginger peed on the floor. yup, just like an animal.

I went the whole day without watching Tangled.

Ginger, Oliver, Moses and I all ate dinner on one chair. at the same time.

and not for lack of space... just because.

Yes. Ginger is naked. She is always naked.

I read an article that changed my life; Youre nobody's victim, not even your own.

I am tired and exhausted...

but I am grateful because I have the blessing of being a mom.

Is there anything better than babes in pjs?

Day 1

2011-07-21T21:25:00.000-07:00

Im taking a 30 day photography challenge.

Challenge is most definitely the right word,

We all know how my 365 blog went.

Day one is self portrait.

I decided to take a picture of me in a familiar setting.

I guess to make it more authentic.

So here I am sanding my parents table.

I've been working on un-ninety-ing this Circa 1992 piece for for three weeks.

And I'll be damned if this isnt the smoothest table top

to ever grace this earth.

Speaking of smooth table tops...

check out the definition in my legs and arms!

I know I should be more modest...

(I also know it looks like Im d.i.y.-ing in my underwear)

but I have been trying very hard to have a healthy physique.

And this picture makes me feel strong.

PS... Whose doing this with me?!

why is mater in the refrigerator?

2011-07-06T13:28:00.000-07:00

Im assuming we all know who Mater is, if not... here he is.

Miss Ginger has decided from here on forth

all trucks shall be known as Mater.

Tuesday morning I heard Ginger, yelling from her bed...

"Hi! How are you?! How are you?! Good Morning!"

who the heck was she talking to, I wondered...

I'd like to say she greets me like that first thing in the morning,

but its more like,

"where's oliver? Im hungry. I wanna go downstairs. Im hungry. Im hungry, mama."

She was greeting Mater- the garbage truck.

which was out front collecting her dirty diapers.

So we ran downstairs as fast as possible because seeing Mater makes her day.

And she stood outside, bare bottomed, wearing nothing but an ear to ear grin.

It's the little things in life.

Last night we bought a Mater at Smiths.

I've found Mater in the fridge three times.

But I used my super advanced detective skills

and put the pieces of the puzzle together...

the watermelon lured Ginger to the refrigerator.

She had to set down Mater,

how else was she supposed to dig her fingers in the watermelon?

Everyday brings new adventures, new mysteries, new trucks in the refrigerator.

Oliver is six months!

2011-06-20T00:03:00.000-07:00

If you dont think this is funny

2011-03-10T10:48:00.000-08:00

...I dont know if we could be friends.

Every Little Step with Mike Tyson & Wayne Brady from Mike Tyson

I have no idea

2011-01-31T10:13:00.000-08:00

what I am about to post.

I just know that its time for an update.

firstly, I lost my sanity.

then I found it.

then I lost it again.

then I found it, lost it and on and on.

As of right this moment

I can be trusted standing on the edge of a cliff.

I should erase that last sentence...

because I truly think my mom is nervous that

i am google mapping "nearest cliff to Las Vegas to jump off of".

The past 5 or 6 weeks have been

absolutely nuts. A blur.

Oliver hasn't really had a chance to enjoy this lovely world yet.

Which means Mama hasn't either.

He's been sick since he was born.

Thankfully not sick enough to be in the hospital

but sick enough for life to suck.

And I am my own worst enemy.

The anxiety is so effing ridiculous.

It's worst about 8pm.

I start to feel super sleepy.

Then I have temporary amnesia and start to get excited

that it's almost bedtime and I can sleep.

Then... Bam, it hits me.

Seriously, picture me...

Mary Tyler Moore-ish skipping down the street,

about to throw my hat in the air

then

I get hit by a bus.

The "Hahaha, you have a newborn who never got the

babies sleep 15 hours a day memo" bus.

And then I cry.

And they cry too.

They cry way more than I do...

So stop referring to me as "overly emotional"

at least I dont cry when I poop or when I get apple juice instead of lemonade.

Oliver is really, really handsome.

And I'm going to be honest,

I've cried many tears,

locked myself in the bathroom

more than once.

had multiple anxiety attacks

and have found myself promising

him a million promises

that soon, it will all be okay.

Oh, and the prayers. My goodness the prayers.

But I love him.

I love him, I love him, I love him.

I think he's warming up to me...

He loves his face caressed.

Right this second Ginger is doing yoga.

Seriously shes on my mat saying downward dog.

She is like so 2011.

Yoga's still current, right?

Were about to have a shot of blended grass in a minute.

Oh now she's pooping.

I know because she puts her hands over her eyes and grunts.

Just trying to give you the play by play in our life.

And no, she's not potty trained.

And no, I am in no hurry to get the training going.

However, if you would like to borrow her for a few weeks

and return her with a pack of undies and an affection for the toilet,

Be my guest.

Real Housewives of whatever city is the best show.

Newborns need their diaper changed 72 times a day.

Moses is the easiest child I'll ever have.

Mrs. Myers lemon scented cleaning supplies make cleaning better.

You know Im stressed when I'm scrubbing my grout.

I desperately want company but Im not an initiator.

But dont ring the doorbell.

Never ever ever ring the doorbell.

The new H&M in Vegas is fabulous.

Ginger wants to watch Tinkerbell every day, three times a day.

Our new ward, The Legacy Ward, has the most amazing people in it.

Ginger now says "Oh myyyyy gooooooossssh" with incredible dramatic flair.

She also says "damn it".

I need to watch what I say, damn it.

I am now 28 years old.

My Mom took me to see Cher and it was the best surprise ever.

I cried during the show, how embarrassing.

My kids need their nails trimmed.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Check out my new couch pillow from Anthropologie.

So fun.

So that's glimpse of the current events in the Treese household.

Every day One humongous ball of crazy, busy, loud, frustrating, joyful, stressful,

sometimes sad, always chaotic energy.

And 5 weeks into this,

I still feel like its my first day of a new job...

and I have no clue what the freak I'm doing.

But I'm doing it.

And Im proud of that.

two thousand eleven

2011-01-11T17:29:00.000-08:00

Happy New Years!

Obviously you know by now

Our family of three is now a family of four.

Well, four and a half.

I always feel bad for not counting Moses.

Being a mother of two kids under two

is BANANAS.

and I am going to be honest...

I am struggling.

Need Some Christmas Cheer?

2010-12-09T13:29:00.000-08:00

Right now, Im lying in bed,

playing on the computer while

Ginger naps and Baby Boy Treese

stretches and kicks, punches and Thai Bo's in my stomach.

Last night he pushed his little foot so far out,

you could grab it.

Ive already announced via facebook and twitter

that Im dilated to a 2.

I dilated early with Ginger,

so half of me is convinced I still have three more weeks

and the other half of me is feeling like this baby is going to

walk out of me in the middle of the night.

Right now were dog sitting for our friend.

Meet Zoe...

Isnt she a doll?

See her eye... does anyone know- is this a common

Pomeranian thing and is there something otc I can buy for it?

Im really feeling sorry for the boys in this family.

Moses is like a puppy again.

He is so in love and they play all day long.

And Casey is so in love with her I felt a sting of jealousy yesterday

while he was loving on her.

Sort of pathetic. What can I say?

I think they're both going to go through serious withdrawls

when she leaves in a couple weeks.

Anyway she is a super good girl and now I am SO tempted to get

another dog even with another baby on the way.

It's just so good for Moses.

Here's Ginger in her new favorite place to play...

See my hand taking the pic and how determined

I am NOT to be in the picture?

And our tree is up and we have been watching all

the Christmas classics on tv.

We came across this picture

of my grandma...

I'll sign off with this...

I dont know who these people are

but I got the Christmas fuzzies when I watched this;

Here Comes Santa Claus - A Christmas Video Greeting from Jared Foster on Vimeo.

Merry Christmas.

letter to Ginger 21 months

2010-11-23T17:30:00.000-08:00

Dear Ginger,

It's been forever since your last letter. Which is a shame because now I'm overwhelmed with all the things I want to tell you about.

Your hair has grown! Yippee! That means no more mohawk; awesome. But the cowlicks are still there; stupid. So If I dont put your hair in a ponytail or pigtails... it is so out of control. I'm sure you'll see pictures when youre older and wonder how I could neglect your appearance in such a way. I have no excuse.

Yet, no matter how crazy your hair is- I still find you to be the most beautiful in all the world. I am constantly staring at you. I hope I grow out of it because it might be creepy and embarrassing if in 15 or so years your boyfriend is all, "dude... why does your mom stare at you like she's going to eat you?" The other day our neighbor was over for dinner, his english isn't perfect but he said in regards to you, "her smile... it is so, how do you say? It is so... sincere." Yes that's exactly how you say it. You have such a beautiful smile. It goes ear to ear, your eyes form sparkling halfmoons and it is impossible not to be touched by it. But you my dear... you are a cunning one sometimes. When you do something naughty like hit or throw things in a fit of anger, Ill use my best admonishing mommy voice and say "GingeRrrr". And do you know what you do? You say in your sweetest I have no idea why you are angry voice, "HI!" flash that fabulous smile, and bestow upon me a warm hug. Your dad caught on to the danger of that move very quickly. "We can't let her do that," he said, but truth be told he's tied around your little finger and I've seen you use that same strategy successfully many a time.

Well I suppose it would help if I put this letter in perspective... the year is 2010, and you are 21 months today. You have a baby brother on the way. He'll be here in less than a month . You like to lift up my shirt and kiss the baby (my big round tummy). Sometimes you'll try to offer him snacks through my belly button. But still you are too young to understand the radical change that is quickly approaching. I am so excited for the arrival of your brother. I know without a doubt he belongs in this family and our blessings will be multiplied with his presence. But if I had to be completely honest I'll tell you that part of me is mourning the upcoming loss of the partnership of you and me. Not to dis-include your dad, of course. But being a stay at home mom means the two of us do everything together. My attention belongs to you, my day revolves around you. And I love it. This is the only time in my life I'll be the mother of one, and the only time in yours that you will be an only child. It is so special. That being said, I accept that this was if but for a season of our lives. It has been lovely and you have taught me and will continue to teach me the fundamentals of being a mother. As firstborn, you are bestowed/cursed with that privilege/job. You have introduced to me this new self. I cannot comprehend life before being a Mom. I have never been more comfortable with my role in this world before you. In a month things will change forever. But I am 100 percent confident it is a positive change. It is an exciting and wonderful change.

Anyway I digress... I want to tell you a few things about who you are and what you do up to this point of life. Ill start off with my most memorable story starring you. I dont think Ill ever forget it. You have excelled when it comes to sleeping my little one. We put you in your crib and you never fight it. Even if you arent tired you entertain yourself quietly. So on the rare occasion that you do wake up crying I dont question it. I suppose you could say- you never cry wolf. Months ago, You were just over a year old, you woke up in the middle of the night very upset. I brought you in bed with me. The problem is that because you are not used to seeping in our bed it is "playtime" for you give or take a few amphetimines). Its like someone dissolved an adderall or three in your vitamin D milk and you are totally high the second I lay you down. You sing, jump up and down, laugh... basically anything but sleep. So the only strategy I have is to not engage you. I lie down as still as I possibly can, with my eyes closed, pretending to be fast asleep. I'll even throw in a snore or two. That particular night after about a half hour of you going bananas, the bed became still and I could feel you hovering over me. I kept still with my eyes shut. You leaned in so close I could feel your breath on my face. And then you kissed my lips so sweetly and delicately and put your little hand on my cheek, stroking it softly. And I cried. I have never felt such pure love in my life. Except in the temple, with your father, but that is sacred and unique in its own way... as was this moment shared with you. I thought of Christ and came to appreciate and understand more completely the expression "pure love of Christ" and also what it means when the scriptures tell us to be child-like. Really you had no other intentions or motivations, no hidden agenda or manipulative thoughts; All you wanted at that moment was to give your mother the pure love you felt. As we get older it's hard to know how to show/feel/express love in a pure manner. We are sort of trained in the school of life to wonder; What can this person give me? or What does this person want from me?. It takes time and sometimes a lot of hoop jumping to build that trust. But apparently when it comes to babes and their mama's- all that's out the window. Love is felt not intellectualized. I know this is starting to sound dramatic but truly those moments are magic, they can trump the sadness and wear and tear of any rough challenging day. Still, I should change stories because I can see my self walking the line between sharing with you and then waxing poetic as if I'm the only one to have discovered this and now I must for forth and preach the good word! But first, can I get an Amen? Back on track, what a incredible, wonderful moment, I thank you for it and hope you have felt that same love from me daily.

Now you are a bit older, you'd be surprised the kind of growth that takes place in just a matter of months. So nine or so months later, you show expressions of love liberally. You always say "Love you" and your kisses are heaven. Except this one time last week. You were throwing a toddler fit over something I cant recall. It was quite a dramatic and unnecessary tantrum. So after a few moments of you crying as if your were earning a check for a long days work on the "Days of our Lives" set. Oh geez, in fifteen or so years by the time you read this you'll be all "what the heck is days of our lives, then you'll look it up on some ridiculously, unthinkable, technological device and realize... You are young/I am old. life. Where was I? Oh right, so youre throwing a massive, half real/half fake tantrum and I say, "gingy, why dont you come over here and cuddle with mommy?" So you turned to me, switched the crying from a wailing to a "life's just so unfair" sob and walked towards me.By that time you had Boogers running down your nose, lips and chin. Like, a ton of nasty boogs. And then you crawled into my lap, lightly fake sobbing now, puckered up your wet, slimy lips, leaned towards me, closed your eyes and asked sweetly and sincerey, "kiss?" And although a part of me was tempted to grab a kleenex first, I kissed those boogey lips and you smiled and rested your head on my chest, totally over your fit. And thats how much I love you. I love you so much I'd eat your snot if it meant making you feel better.

As of your twenty-first month you can count to ten, occasionally eleven- if the lighting is right. Your ABC's are coming along. You've got the tune and a few clusters of letters in the right place. Your vocabulary is a testament of being of your grammies lineage. To put it simply... you have a large vocabulary and are comfortable using your voice. You help us to be more aware of what we say, as you are quite the mimicker. Today you had the iphone in one hand (its this little, palm sized phone with... oh nevermind)and toast in the other hand. Moses was right there so setting down your toast was not an option. And no way are you giving up the phone. So I watched you, brows furrowed as you looked back and forth at the toast and iphone and finally you just sighed loudly and said, "Hmmmm, crap." Which is a fitting phrase for a conundrum such as that. You love Beauty and the Beast. We could watch it twice everyday and it seems like you'll never tire of it. You still have a great love for books which I hope lasts you a lifetime. You absolutely Love with a capital L- ART. And I am so with you. You are always asking me to draw things for you ( a cat, a rainbow, a tree)... a month or so ago... you wanted an octopus. I take these requests very seriously. You dream your mama draws you octopuses, well by George, You will have an octopus drawing Mama! Even if it means she'll forget to bring your snack and sippy cup to the park that afternoon because she so focused on the challenge. Honestly, Im here to teach you the important things in life... One of those things is; that to have your peers exclaim - "Your mom can draw one dope octopus," is comparatively more advantageous then "Youre mom packs a mean bag of cheddar goldfish." After that pearl of wisdom, you must feel far more socially and intellectually advanced then your friends. So let's just touch on humility, Sure Im awesome at drawing 8 legs on an ocean creature, but it doesnt mean I should think Im better than others, even though...Oh nevermind you get the point. Lesson: you can be dope and humble at the same time.

You are so very feminine; you love jewelry. A couple weeks ago I dressed you for church and while we were in sacrament, Dad was all, "Awww cute. I like how you put this necklace on G." Huh? I looked over and you were wearing my gold vintage necklace with a cameo on it. You picked it out, put on and rocked that church runway. This is the oh so superficial side of me speaking... I was almost as proud as I was when you counted to ten for the first time. Okay fine- I may have been just a smidge prouder when you happily wore it for all three hours of church. What can I say? But just as youre feminine I do see the beginning of a competitive spirit and at "My Gym" and the park you can keep up with the boys. Maybe this is all me projecting my motherly desires on you. Maybe I should make an appt with my shrink. Or perhaps, in a few years, Ill be proudly and obnoxiously exclaiming- I knew since she was one she'd kick butt on the soccer field! Oh. crap. listen to me. I sound like one of "those" moms. The "crazy, overwhelming, blinder wearing, live vicariously through your daughter" mom. It's okay... we caught this early, its not too late for me. Honey, I'll support you no matter what. (that was only a tinsy bit hard).

You are starting to embrace the little mommy in you. Which is quite relieving since your brother will be here shortly. You always pick up Elmo and say, "Ewwww, he's stinky. Nasty." Then you produce a diaper exclaiming "diaper change." So we change Elmo's diapee. a lot.

The best practice has been your cousin Willow. She's four months and quite adorable. In the beginning you were leery. But now You love to help. Saying "Oh Willow," with a sweet sigh, if shes upset and quick to offer a bottle or a pacifier.

And then there's the attitude that you are developing. I know this letter has been a lot of "Oh look how perfect and wonderful you are!" Wonderful, yes. And it is super easy to romanticize these past 21 months. Why do you suppose I choose to give you a brother before your second birthday? Anyway, ups and downs, easy and difficult days come with the territory. So currently at almost 2 years of age you are learning to assert yourself. And trying to figure out how to express emotions. You are also testing your boundaries. Doesnt all this sound like fun? And really when youre reading this as a teenager- you will likely still be learning how to handle the disappointments and frustrations in life. Sorry to say, Im 27 and I dont understand it all. So, the learning begins, as does the ensuing successes and failures. life. So a quick example of you asserting and testing today. You have learned how to turn the dishwasher on and off. Which is so awesome. not. After I finished loading the dishwasher, I turned it on and you immediately stopped what you were doing and stared at the machine... making a plan in your head (Im sure) conniving- hmmm how to take this half hour process and multiply it by ten both in terms of time and money? So I leaned down (which is hard for a 36 week preggo) and said firmly but kindly, "Ginger, look at Mama," and you did... so I continued, "Do NOT touch the dishwasher. Okay? No touch. NO touch." And mothers around the world can predict how you digested those directions. You continued to look me in the eye, walked slowly to the dishwasher and placed your hand on it. A smile on your face. This irresistible yet mischievous smile. The kind that makes me want to laugh and hug you while simultaneously wanting to put you in time out. (like I have the patience for that form of discipline at this point.) Where have I seen that smile? You stayed there with your hand on the dishwasher, I kept the staring contest going while trying to figure out my next move (truly Im clueless at this point). Because, me repeating in an even firmer tone, "Ginger, Mama said NO TOUCH. No touch" - it's all just making the game more entertaining for you. I was also wondering... What is she thinking right about now? I imagined this, "Im sorry Mom, I didn't hear you... as I was too busy running this show." Oh, I just remembered where I've seen that smile; your dad.

The past month you've acquired the amazing talent of turning the tears on and off. You'll literally be crying your eyes out one second and laughing the next. And just like when you were a newborn I have found myself able learning to decipher the cries. There's the "owie" cry (breaks my heart), the "Im not getting my way" cry (file this under quickest way to get my mom to reach for her anti-anxiety meds and/or launch into weird breathing and the downward dog pose) What? So I use yoga and medicine... Im also half republican and half democrat. Where was I? Oh right, there's the angry cry... that's usually brought on upon by Moses stealing your food or lying on your toybox while you're trying to open it. I could go on and on... but Ill finish with my favorite- the fake cry. The reason I love it is you keep your sense of humor. You'll be doing your best pathetic, woe is me cry and we will pick you up and say in a baby voice, "Oh my poor sweet Ginger, Life is so unfair, poor Gingy!" And you'll keep the cry going- the only thing interrupting you is the haha Im so funny smile on your face.

Oh Ginger, I could bore/entertain you with a billion stories. But I've probably already lost your attention after the first paragraph. I'm just so in love with you. So entertained, so proud, so surprised by you, sometimes you drive me crazy, mostly you delight me, but Always Im filled with love and a desire to be better. I love you so much plus I like you. Bonus! We have a fine family. Im proud of what the three of us have accomplished. I'm excited to see what the power of four can do. And finally, my love, thank you... a million times I thank you, everyday you make me feel the vigor of life. The energy,the power, the blessing of being here on this earth. You make me laugh, dance, dream, color, cry, master a mean impression of Gaston, Im giving and loving and joyful and it's because of you.

Love,

Mama

for your viewing pleasure

2010-11-02T20:21:00.000-07:00

We spent Halloween at the Cannon's.

It was awesome.

the food was fabulous.

And Jessica wouldn't let anyone in without a costume.

Which means my halloween scrooge (aka casey)

finally wore a costume.

He was the best Wiggle I've ever seen.

I went with a classic.

a witch.

and dont even think about saying something to the effect

of it not being much of a stretch for me.

And finally the whole fam.

Many props to the talented Eric and Jessica.

These amazing photos were takin

in their garage

against the awesome mural painted by Eric himself.

Super impressive!

Happy Halloween!

happy halloween

2010-10-26T13:36:00.001-07:00

Halloween has graced our home.

A few decorations to get in the spirit.

These guys are my fav! When I bought them, the lady at pottery barn was

all, "Oh arent these the cutest scarecrows!"

I really wanted to correct her. Instead I just said, "totally".

Skulls and pumpkins replace candles.

PS That wall is now painted. dramatically.

This picture cracks me up... She looks like a leprechaun witch.

She forgot her broom.

Happy Halloween!

hello monday

2010-10-11T17:42:00.000-07:00

is this not the best bike EVER?

{source}

it's definitely a

"i have a stupid amount of money and am running out of ways to spend it" bike.

it's monday and I am about to get out of my super comfy bed

and get ready for family home evening with the treeses.

i am so ready for Peggy's home cooking and the company of my nieces and nephew.

I am seven whole months along

and can see the end in sight...

or should I say beginning!

the sun is shining a little more on my life.

I think Im out of the ugly funk I was in.

I can tell because when I stumble on things like this

I smile instead of dry heave...

I am still confused why life is ever sad when

I get to see this piece of heaven everyday

for all of us moms, deux.

2010-10-06T08:57:00.000-07:00

Cooking and cleaning can wait for tomorrow,
for babies grow up, much to our sorrow.
So settle down cobwebs, and dust go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby, and babies don’t keep.

{source}

The point of wallpaper

2010-10-04T15:03:00.000-07:00

Me: I have a wallpaper game for you.

Casey: What is it?

Me: There is only one letter of the english alphabet not used anywhere on

the wallpaper. If you guess what it is- Ill make you whatever you want for dinner.

Casey: Is it G?

Me: No

Casey: Is it X?

Me: No

Casey: This game is boring. Lets have sex.

Men.

total awesome

2010-09-27T19:37:00.000-07:00

When I title my posts

I do it with all of those who

are hyper-annoyed with bad english in mind.

You is welcome.

Speaking of titles...

The last post was named, "diagnosed."

believe it or not, I was going for simple subtlety.

It sounds SO dramatic and feel sorry for me.

It made me feel so lame- I had to change it.

The reason for this title

would be the one item that has completely changed my life.

The infomercial sold me.

Behold, the TOTAL PILLOW.

Its so super amazing and totally on par

with the invention of the light bulb.

You can get it at fry's.

One night I woke up delirious in the middle of the night

and realized Casey stole my total pillow and was using it!

So I reached over, totally pissed off, and grabbed it hard

trying to yank it from under his head.

After a couple seconds, my eyes adjusted to the dark

and to my surprise (and amusement) I was tugging on Casey's

arm which was serving as his headrest.

It turns out he didnt steal my total pillow-

it fell on the floor.

Somehow he slept through the whole thing

and the next day I giggled about 20 times

thinking about how truly pissed I was at the thought of him

stealing my pillow.

What am I? five?

Here's the next piece of greatness to touch our lives...

A gift from Grammie.

Its a pretty rad keyboard that Ginger capital L Loves.

Speaking of Ginger obsessions;

my mom said they went shopping and G grabbed these shoes

and would not let go of them.

Saying, "Oh wow" and "pretty" about 1700 times.

I thought maybe mom was exaggerating

(I didnt get my embellishing abilities from my dad)

But truly since she came home with them,

she wants to wear them 24/7.

Most of the time, she's content with wearing at least one.

(Sometime we let her use the swiffer, instead of a rag and a bucket)

Change of subject...

The new house is coming along,

Ive learned to be patient with the design process,

Im less likely to make hasty choices

and throw away money on something I'll hate a month later.

These purdy pillows are from Z gallerie

and they light up my life...

I love the comfort and practicality of our leather couch

but it so masculine- I have to sweeten it up with extras...

hence the choice of lavender.

Confession:

It took me 3 weeks to realize our dining room light

had a dimmer.

I wondered why sometimes it was dim and other times bright.

My theory- it started out dim to be easy on your eyes

then brightened gradually.

I should be ashamed to admit that stroke of genius

but Im just trying to keep it real.

It wasnt until Casey adjusted it before my very eyes that

I was like, Ohhhhhhhh, I see (pun intended).

My new favorite cd

is Brandon Flowers sole effort, "Flamingo"

I absolutely, positively love that man

and his voice and his style and his Vegasness.

I like to just insert randomness as I please.

Yoga has been my saving grace.

I spend approximately six times longer in the bathroom

than necessary.

It gives me a nice break.

I super de duper love an ice pack on my head.

Speaking of ice packs on heads.

Did you know I am an exceptional example to my child?

Exhibit A.

I hope I didnt make you feel self-conscience

by posting that ultra glamorous photo of me.

with my pregnant belly hanging out.

Im gonna do that mommy-daughter ice pack moment one better.

The other night G and I were hanging out in my room

when all of a sudden a wave of nausea sent me flying to the bathroom

where I seeked comfort with my head over the toilet

throwing my guts up.

Ginger quickly came after me

stared at me for a second before bending over next to me

assumed the position and started going,

"blech, blech, blech!"

complete with head bobbing and stomach clutching.

Note: It is possible to laugh while vomiting.

But when I finished luking (laughing/puking)

a wave of unavoidable, useless motherly guilt washed over me.

If she turns into a hypochondriac- we all know why.

Casey has expressed to me how much he dislikes public praise-

wierdo.

So I will NOT tell you how he's gone above and beyond his husbandly duty

during this difficult pregnancy.

And I wont tell you how much it means to me

and how infinite my gratitude is for him.

I wont do it. Dont even try to make me.

I better bid adieu before my sleeping medication kicks in.

Love and angel kisses.

dramatic title.

2010-09-20T13:13:00.000-07:00

I was debating whether or not to post this,

but its a significant part of my life.

And this blog is a substitute journal.

This qualifies as journal entry worthy.

I'll try to make this as short and concise as possible.

3 and 1/2 years ago my health most definitely headed downhill.

The most obvious change was a dramatic weight loss.

40 pounds in a month.

I was newly engaged and people assumed I was on the

pre-wedding anorexia diet.

But my appetite hadnt changed and I thought perhaps it was

anxiety.

Especially since I had an increase in that area as well.

I was soon married and nothing changed.

(health wise)

Then I had very bad muscle pain... constantly.

Especially in my legs.

I wont even go into what a physical, medical and mental

nightmare that was.

And the consequences that ensued from mis-diagnosis.

I started having regular panic attacks

and the combination of all this started to bring about bouts of depression.

I saw a few psychiatrists.

One diagnosed me as bipolar after talking to me for 5 minutes.

At this point I was very trusting of doctors

and so hearing I was bipolar was frightening.

The medicine she prescribed was really intense and I didnt

feel right taking it.

After researching the disorder... it didnt take long for me

to realize I was definitely not bipolar.

I went to several doctors; and do you know what they all more or less

agreed on... This was all in my head and due to mental illness.

Depression and anxiety.

I started to feel like I really was going crazy.

Was I making these symptoms up?

Fast forward 3 years and these symptoms were now a way of life.

Only more emerged...

Extreme fatigue, insomnia, shortness of breath, shaky hands- to name a few.

Someone suggested an internal medicine dr.

He took a routine blood test and found out I was anemic.

So that was that... Just take iron and Ill be fine.

Wishful thinking.

I was playing soccer at the time and after a game

it took me three hours to recover.

The doctor told me I had to stop playing soccer and tennis.

My muscles had grown very weak anyway

and I couldnt play up to a satisfying standard ...

Try kicking a ball with a stick leg.

it was more frustrating then enjoyable.

So I took his advice and quit.

Then about 6 months ago things got pretty bad.

I was functioning at 25% on a good day.

But I was pregnant and everyone thought that explained it perfectly.

But I knew something wasnt right.

So I begged and pleaded with my doctors.

Finally, a month ago- I became one big pathetic mess at the OB's office.

I asked for bloodwork to check my iron.

As I was leaving she casually suggested I have my thyroid checked.

The results came back and my thyroid numbers were not looking right.

I was referred to an endocrinologist.

I saw him today, after a three week wait

and he said what I desperately needed to hear after 3 years of

questioning my sanity...

"This is most definitely not in your head."

I was diagnosed with Graves Disease.

In short... Graves disease is an autoimmune disorder that occurs

when the immune system mistakenly attacks and destroys healthy body

tissue. It leads to the overactivity of the thyroid gland as well.

No joke... It looks like someone ripped out a page of my diary

and drew up the list of graves symptoms.

It's pretty unbelievable that it went undiagnosed for so long.

The form of treatment were considering is radioactive iodine.

Pregnant woman cannot be treated with this for obvious reasons.

I cried like a blubbering idiot while the doctor shifted uncomfortably

in his chair.

I just want to feel normal. Desperately.

Then he said, you just have to make it four more months.

And I thought, Youre right, I can do that.

Im happy to finally have answers.

Im happy that relief is in the future.

Im happy that my children will have a mother

who can chase them around the yard

without needing a 3 hour recovery.

Im happy my husband will have a wife that isnt so needy.

Right now all my energy goes to Ginger and Casey,

and thats pretty much the extent of it.

So my sincere apologies if I've been a bad friend and/or family member.

Just remember its nothing that a little radioactive love cant fix.

Ill be back full force soon.

You dont even know how awesome I can be. :)

for all of us moms.

2010-09-07T13:18:00.000-07:00

summertime

2010-08-22T11:11:00.000-07:00

Ive been quite the lazy and neglectful blogger.

I like to pretend I have thousands of followers

who check this page daily

to be spiritually fed by stories of swimming sperm

and home made chandeliers.

Wait.

Dont go.

I promise thats the last time I'll mention sperm.

Anyway, here is a random rambling update of sorts.

For my tens of followers out there.

Mom.

Mom's friend.

Dad.

I kid, my dad totally does not read this.

Im pregnant. As you know.

And here's the dirty truth.

Once I hit my 14th week, I was finished with trimester one

and feeling pretty damn good.

At which time I mentioned to Casey,

I love being pregnant.

Saying those words are like casting a shit spell on me.

Sorry for the language.

Crap storm just doesn't cut it.

But remember I said that week six and then Bam!

Pregnancy switch, morning, afternoon and evening sickness.

Back to trimester two.

So for a week or so, I was filled with energy and love

and the aura of a dozen unicorns.

And then the depression fairy came to me one night

sprinkling her Woe is Me dust all over my sleeping, pregnant body.

Ill tell you the crappy part about depression...

When someone asks you, Whats wrong?

You have no good explanation.

There's no event, person, place or thing

to blame it on.

If there was, at least you could come up with a well directed solution.

But its just...

a state of being.

A crappy, nasty, tiring state of being.

This is the part where I'd like to publicly thank

my husband and my mother.

If you're ever on the depression train, they are the ones

you want on your team.

after a couple weeks of me being a barely functioning citizen.

I told my doctor, zoloft wasnt doing the trick.

So she switched me to prozac

and two weeks later... I'm normal!

I'd like to publicly endorse prozac.

Thank you for helping me shower again.

And cook and clean and laugh and read and leave the house.

So that explains my blogging absence.

Sorry mom.

and mom's friend.

Okay this is dragging on and on.

here's some of the magic that has filled our lives

in the past month.

My youngest sister had her baby,

Willow Mae,

and I got to be in the room.

Watching babies being born is like a successful

opiate trip for me.

(I imagine.... you know- word on the street)

its seriously like a drug. I get high as a kite and smile

for days at the memory of a mother seeing her child

for the first time.

Willow Mae in her newborn glory.

Were in love with her.

This is what pure joy looks like...

Willow is great practice for Ginger.

Hard to believe she's not the baby anymore.

Rumor is she's having a tough time sharing Grammy.

My mom went to pick up crying Willow and

Ginger injected herself in between, shook her finger at Willow

and said, No, My Ammie!

Uh-oh.

Still she has no reason to worry, look how in love

the two of them are...

Ginger is almost a year and a half.

With the anticipation of my second child

Im clinging on to Ginger, asking her daily

not to grow up.

Call me Peter Pan.

I just cant imagine her not being the "baby".

Sigh.

Her vocabulary growing everyday.

Her personality blossoming.

And....drumroll please,

We can finally put her hair in pigtails.

Thank goodness because she was beginning

to look like the lead singer of Flock of Seagulls.

I'll do a separate post for her soon.

There's so much to update.

As for my growing fetus.

I've had three ultrasounds where he was

displaying his anatomy like a champ.

So my doctor has reiterated... He is most definitely

a boy.

His fluttering has escalated to kicks.

Which I love!

People have asked if Im scared to have a boy versus a girl.

The answer is NO- Im not nervous, I 100% wanted a boy and I am thrilled.

I am, however, terrified to go from 1 child to 2 children.

My cravings include but are not limited to...

buttery cabbage, PB and J, fruit snacks, cheeseburgers and lucky charms.

You know all the healthy stuff.

Almost every saturday, our friends gather together

to be in the only bearable place

during summer in las vegas.

the pool.

I love when babies reach for their mama's.

Ahhhh and I'm high again.

Aren't baby Presley's eyes magical?

Keeping on the summer theme,

you remember the mini ramp right.

Its parked behind the pool.

Well the husbands made some repairs

and thanks to Eric's artwork...

the ramp is summerific.

And summer's not complete without an evening dinner

outside

with a half naked baby.

So were mostly caught up.

adventures in motherhood

2010-08-20T11:27:00.001-07:00

Today Ginger was walking around chewing something.

Something I didnt give her.

I thought it was her rubberband for her hair.

Dont ask me why I thought that.

So I held out my hand.

Spit it out, I say.

To which she obliges.

And in my hand is a regurgitated goldfish cracker.

Oh, that's okay, I tell her.

Then she picks up the A.B.C. goldfish out of my hand

and puts in back in her mouth.

I love toddlers.

A boy or girl for the Treese family?

2010-07-16T15:12:00.000-07:00

Today I had an appointment with my OB,

and I found out

WERE HAVING A BOY!

to say I'm thrilled would be an understatement.

A boy for the Treese family.

How wonderful.

the fourth of july

2010-07-06T21:56:00.000-07:00

our fourth was wonderful.

I knew it would be for my little family because

casey woke up singing Proud to be an American,

stuck american flag and In N Out stickers

on Ginger's face,

and put a flag in her hand.

all day I felt overwhelmingly grateful.

we spent most of the day poolside.

we had delicious food made by my MIL

including gazpacho so good it'll make you

wanna slap yo mama!

I have no idea what that means,

casey always says it.

we lit fireworks

and then went up to the rooftop

where my in-laws have the best view of the

entire city and watched numerous

firework shows.

And as I went happily through the day in

my heart I continuously thanked all the brave

men and woman of this beautiful country

that have allowed me to enjoy such treasures.

My most incredible treasure...

Behold... Gazpacho

What's better than this?

two thumbs way up.

Just a pregnant back dive... no big deal.

That's Peggy under that fabulous hat.

...and I'm proud to be an american...

The End.

a recipe from me to you

2010-07-02T09:47:00.000-07:00

well from tyler florence to me to you.

every once and a while you come upon something

so good, it seems sinful not to share.

if you dont like mushrooms

I do believe this is the dish that will change your mind

and convert your heart.

5 ingredients

10 minutes start to finish.

not to brag but I can do it in 7

probably because Im awesome

or super hungry.

olive oil, sea salt, mushrooms ( I fancy portabella), mozzarella cheese, fresh thyme.

Im sure dried thyme would do the trick, too.

Firstly slice the mushrooms. they broil fast so not too thick of slices.

place on broil pan. like so...

Nextly, put dime size balls (or quarter size if youre crazy) of cheese all over the mushrooms,

sprinkle sea salt, scatter fresh thyme (off the stem), drizzle olive oil, add a bit more salt.

Then place in the broiler for 2-3 minutes... dont walk away (trust me)...

you know its ready when the cheese is oozy and bubbly and golden brown

in some places.

Ta Dah.

and sometimes you get a super cool mustache like this...

If you cry while you eat this. dont be ashamed... youre in good company.